The Meaning Of Family
by Queequg471
Summary: Because they were a family, and families took care of each other. So that's what they would do. NEW PENNAME, FORMERLY FAITHTIMFAN16
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This popped into my head randomly and I had to write it down. Alright, on with the show!**_

_**--**_

_Flashback:_

_Donald Cragen, Fin Tutuola, John Munch and Casey Novak stood at the window of the hospital nursery, gazing down at the two new miracles that had suddenly and unexpectedly come into their lives. Grace Casey Benson-Stabler and Gabriela Joy Benson-Stabler gazed steadily back at their new family with deep hazel brown eyes so like their mother's eyes. _

_Not two months after Elliot and Olivia had announced their relationship, Olivia had announced that she was pregnant. The entire squad was thrilled for her, knowing how long Olivia had wanted to be a mother. They knew the moment Elliot and Olivia gazed at their daughters, their world would now revolve around their children. _

_All four were sitting in Olivia's hospital room a few hours after the twins' birth, visiting and seeing the babies for the first time, when Olivia had asked them to be a part of the babies lives in a bigger way then they thought they would. _

"_Listen guys, we all know that I didn't grow up with the best family, but I don't want my daughters to be in the same situation." Olivia began. "We would be honoured if you would be Uncle Munch, Uncle Fin, Aunt Casey, and Grandpa Don to our daughters." Against their will, the guys' eyes had teared, and Casey had promptly burst into tears, nodding furiously to the affirmative. Olivia had shifted Grace into Cragen's arms and Gabriela into Fin's. They stared down at the babies, wondering how it was possible to love someone so much that they had just met. _

Eighteen Months Later:

Much had changed around the Special Victims Unit. Cragen was still captain, and the core four was still there, however Fin had started dating the recently divorced Melinda Warner, much to everyone's shock, and they had suspicions that Munch was also seeing someone, as he cut out of work some weekend nights, returning with a smile that consumed his entire face. Olivia and Elliot, who were not at work as much as they used to be in order to devote more time to their children, had shocked everyone with the news that they were expecting again ("Only one in there this time" Olivia had laughed). Grace and Gabriela were now happy, healthy 1-year-olds. They were the light of the SVU. Whenever Elliot and Olivia would bring them into work, Casey, Cragen, Munch and Fin would play with the babies for hours. Cragen, especially, who had resigned himself to the fact that he would never have grandchildren, doted on the twins. They were "Grandpa Don's little angels" to him.

Elliot and Olivia were now out on the last field job that Cragen would allow them to go on, because Olivia was seven months pregnant, and the Captain was sitting in his office, catching up on paperwork, when the phone rang.

"Donald Cragen, Special Victims Unit."

"Mr. Cragen? This is Dr. Mellencamp at Mercy General Hospital, calling in regards to Elliot and Olivia Stabler."

Cragen sat bolt upright in his chair. He was not Elliot and Olivia's blood relation, so the only reason the hospital would be calling was if...

No. He could not say the words. He couldn't even bring himself to think them.

"Yes?" he managed to squeak out.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Cragen. Mr. and Mrs. Stabler were involved in an accident. We did everything we could, but we couldn't save them. We would respectfully ask that you come down here..."

No...no...NO!! It couldn't be true. This had to be some sick joke. Yet, deep in his heart, Cragen knew it was not. They were gone. Dead.

He sat back, numbness invading his mind while questions swirled in his head like a tornado.

"_What about the squad? What about the jobs? Who did this? Why would someone do this?_

Then, one question began to pound at his skull:

"_What about the kids?" _

_--_

_**A/N: Dodges garbage and rotten fruit thrown at her I'm not really sure why I so enjoy repeatedly killing Olivia, and this time I took Elliot down too...**_

_**I'm not sure where I'm going with this story, but I have a few idea floating around in my admittedly emo mind. Strap on your seatbelts folks, and please fill out the review form located in the bottom left corner of your screen. Yep, that's the one. If at any time during the ride, you should feel the need to exit for whatever reason, please do so in a quiet, orderly fashion, with no negativity. **_

_**Oh, and in case anyone's wondering, I haven't abandoned Alone. Next chapter is coming!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's Chapter 2. Spoilers for Legacy, Remorse, Parts and Painless. I'm already working on the next one, but I need more reviews to post it, because I don't know how many of you guys are liking the story. To all who reviewed, thank you!! OK, as they say in show business, on with the show!!**

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Cragen walked slowly out of his office and into the bullpen. He had to tell the squad. He knew that. But how was he going to face telling them when he couldn't quite make himself believe it? How could one phone call turn his world around and leave it in a million tiny pieces? He unconsciously brung his hand to his face, shocked when it came away wet. He hadn't even felt the tears.

Taking a deep breath, he ventured to Fin and Munch's desks. The pair had been working on wrapping up cold cases. As he approached, they looked up. Taking one look at their captain's face, they were instantly alarmed.

"What happened, Cap?"

"What's wrong?"

"Is it Casey? Or the kids?"

"No." Cragen interjected abruptly. "The kids are fine."

Fin and Munch took a closer look at their boss, and were shocked to see a look on his face that they saw every day. A look of love, loss and unimaginable grief. His face looked like the face of a victim's family member after being informed of their loved one's death. And with a sickening jolt, they knew who it was.

"No!" Fin blurted out. "They're OK right? They're alive? They're just hurt! And the baby's OK too! 'Cause they can't be...no...they...NO!!" Achieving the same realization the captain had, Fin sat down at his desk, tears streaming down his face.

Munch stood abruptly and began walking dazedly toward the stairs to the roof.

"John..." the Captain implored pleadingly.

"No...I have to go...this is not happening...I can't do this, I can't deal with this...no, this is too much...I have to get out of here..."

Cragen fleetingly wondered if he should go after Munch, but decided against it as he heard Fin run off to Casey's office to tell her the news. He wandered into his office and closed the door. Sitting down at his desk, he finally let the tears fall unchecked.

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None of them really knew how they got to the hospital. They had no recollection of exiting the precinct, the drive to the hospital, or how they found themselves in the ICU.

But they remembered before, and they register that this is after. Fin remembers the look of utter devastation that crossed Casey's face when he told her, and how he had to help her stand and guide her over to the office to go to the office, although he couldn't say that he wasn't leaning on her a little too as they cried together.

And John remembered going to the roof. Going to the roof because it's where he goes in times of great sorrow. It's where he went after hearing of Amy Solwey's1 fate. It's where he went after the case with Sarah Logan2. And it's where he told Olivia about the little girl across the street, a dark, personal memory finally let go.3

And so they wait together for word of their family, huddled together in a warm, brightly lit waiting room that's cold, so cold.

1 Amy Solwey was the deaf woman that helped people commit suicide in Painless, and gave up a liver for a young boy in Parts.

2 Sarah Logan was the reporter that asked Munch out, then was killed in an explosion in Remorse.

3 See Legacy, season 2.


	3. Chapter 3

**...And here's chapter 3. Grace and Gabriela are in this chapter. In case anyone's wondering, I got their names from 2 kids I know, who are sisters, not twins, although they do look and sound identical...so enjoy, and review!!**

They sat in that waiting room for hours, days, weeks, it seemed, until they heard a sound that was blessedly familiar to all of them.

"Gapa!! Gapa!!" They turned to the see two nurses carry Grace and Gabriela past them.

The group jumped up and ran to the babies, ripping them from the nurses' arms, after assuring them they were extended family of the Stablers. Sympathy crossed the nurses' features as they pointed them down the hall to a private, empty waiting room where they could stay until the doctor was with them, because he had something he needed to discuss with them. Casey couldn't possibly imagine what it could be, Elliot and Olivia were dead, and the baby must be too, so short of cause of this earth shattering event, there wasn't much to discuss.

They made their way to the grieving room, feeling like they were living in a dream; their only tie to reality the babies in their arms. Casey sat down with Grace, Fin with Gabriela. Though Fin and Casey would never admit it, Grace was Casey's favourite of the twins, and Gabriela was Fin's. To Casey, Grace was her "Gracie-Bear", a special nickname only Casey was allowed to call her. Gabriela had her own special name from Fin, she was "his little Gabby-girl".

Fin and Casey held onto their nieces for as long as Cragen could hold off. He ran forward and scooped his grandchildren into his arms. Fresh tears fell as he buried his nose in their soft, downy brown hair. Gabriela looked up at him with her wide brown eyes that were the spitting image of her mother's eyes and brushed her tiny hand along his cheek, as Grace snuggled against him and fell asleep, and soon the rest of the group followed her example.

"Stabler family?" A deep yet tentative voice woke them, as they jolted to an upright position, careful not to jar the babies.

A tall man with black hair and green eyes was standing in the doorway. He was clearly a doctor, as evidenced by his lab coat, stethoscope and the look of genuine sadness on his face.

"I'm Dr. Mellencamp." He said "I'm truly sorry for your loss..."

Munch cut him off before he could go any further, before he talked about Elliot and Olivia like he knew anything about them. "Just tell us what happened."

"Mr. and Mrs. Stabler were involved in a car crash. The other driver appears to have been under the influence, and although the air bags engaged, they suffered severe external and internal bleeding. Mr. Stabler exanguinated at the scene, but we managed to keep Mrs. Stabler alive long enough to..."

He was cut off by a gasp from Casey.

"Wait...Olivia's alive?"

"I'm sorry, no. We kept her alive long enough too...well you see, this is really what I came here to talk to you about...we managed to get her baby out alive."

**MMMUUUUHHHHHHHAAA! I'm evil, I know, but I was up till 2 am writing this, so y'all are lucky I didn't kill everyone lol. Now I see why Dick Wolf likes to jerk us around all the time, the power feels good. Sooo...**

**Will the baby live?**

**What will happen to it if it does? **

**How will the squad deal with this tragedy?**

**Only time, lots of hits and lots of reviews will tell!!**


	4. Chapter 4

Previously:

"Wait...Olivia's alive?"

"I'm sorry, no. We kept her alive long enough too...well you see, this is really what I came here to talk to you about...we managed to get her baby out alive."

"The baby's alive...the baby survived...the baby made it..." no matter what words she used, Casey could not seem to wrap her head around the words. Her mind flew to Elliot and Olivia, about how happy they had been to be having another baby. They had been hoping for a son, Casey knew. She felt the now-familiar wetness on her cheeks and reached up hastily to wipe it away.

Looking at the equally stricken faces of her colleagues, she was sure she saw a hint of relief flit across Fin and Munch's faces, while Cragen only shook his head, as if he didn't believe it was true, and clutch Grace and Gabriela tighter.

"We need to see the baby." She heard herself say.

"Of course. Follow me."

The doctor led them through the hallways, Casey clinging to Munch and Fin's hands, and Cragen holding his precious granddaughters like they were his only tether to the world, until they came to a halt by a glass window, looking over a room crammed with incubators and machinery.

Casey, Munch, Fin, and Cragen looked at the babies, expressions of shock mixed with horror on their faces. These babies looked as tiny as dolls, held together by machines and technology.

"Which one is their baby?" Casey heard Munch ask.

"If you'll put these gowns and gloves on and wash your hands, you can come into the ICU and I'll show you." Dr. Mellencamp said gently. "You can give the other two babies to the nurses while you see the baby."

Silently, the group did as they were told. The doctor led them into the room, which smelled of antibacterial soap and baby powder, to an incubator at the back corner of the room, the tag at the front of the incubator reading "Benson-Stabler, boy." Inside the incubator was a very tiny baby.

Casey's breath caught in her throat as she looked down at her new nephew. She had never seen anything so tiny in her life. He had a light spray of black hair on his head, but she couldn't tell what color his eyes were as he lay there asleep.

"Surprisingly healthy little guy they got there, for a baby that was supposed to spend another 5 weeks inside his mother. Didn't even need to be put on a ventilator. We're just keeping him in the ICU for a few days for observation." The doctor commented from behind them.

"Can we hold him?" Casey asked.

"Certainly." The doctor carefully stepped over to the incubator, lifting the top and wrapping the still-sleeping infant in a blue blanket, placing him in Casey's arms.

_This shouldn't be how this baby came into the world_, Casey thought. _He should have been born with parents to love him, with a room and a home and a life and a future _– Casey stopped, mentally reminding herself that the important thing was that he was here, and he was alive.

The baby let out a sigh, and his eyes opened briefly, giving Casey a glimpse of his mocha-brown eyes. Despite the circumstances surrounding his birth, Casey felt herself falling in love with her nephew instantly.

After a few minutes, she let Munch hold him, and then Fin, watching as tears flowed openly down the men's faces, knowing they were feeling the same instant bond to this child as she had.

Cragen had been standing by, watching the whole time, with an expression of mute shock on his face. Fin noticed and walked gently over to him, gently shifting the baby into their captain's arms. Immediately, their captain's face looked as if he was holding live ammunition. He stood in shock for a few seconds, then let out a resounding "No!"and roughly shoved the baby back at Casey. The baby started, and began a loud, wailing protest at the rough treatment and loud noise.

"Cap..." Casey started...

"Don..."Fin started...

"NO!" The captain shouted. "It's not...no, he's not ours...no he doesn't belong...no, I can't do this...no, this is all wrong, we can't do this...we didn't want him...not like this..."

He stormed out, but not before the squad heard him mutter under his breath "Call Child Services, tell them to come get him."

**And there we are people!! Damn, I found myself wanting a baby, just writing those baby scenes! So, now the story is about to take off, but:**

**Will they give El and Liv's son to Child Services?**

**Why does Cragen not want to bond with his new grandson, when he clearly adores his granddaughters?**

**What will happen to all of the kids now that El and Liv are gone? **

**EnforcerandAccuserFan: Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews on my stories, especially your wonderful comments on this one. I feel like such a trailblazer!!**

**But seriously people, 760 hits and 8 reviews? Are you guys not liking this story? I will delete it if nobody likes it, but the only way I know if people are liking it is if I get reviews. Review if you like this, please and thank you!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: OK, I have a plethora of apologies for the wait, but in my defence, I'm not home and have little to no internet access, and yes, it is my own personal form of hell lol.**

**Please note for the purposes of this story:**

**Cragen adopted Olivia 4 months after the twins were born, so she is his daughter.**

**Elliot and Olivia got married 6 months after the twins were born. **

Previously:

Fin walked over to the captain, gently shifting the baby into his arms. Immediately, their captain's face looked as if he was holding live ammunition. He stood in shock for a few seconds, then let out a resounding "No!"and roughly shoved the baby back at Casey.

He stormed out, but not before the squad heard him mutter under his breath "Call Child Services, tell them to come get him."

The baby continued to wail as Casey shifted him back into her arms, her head spinning for what seemed like the millionth time that day. What had just happened? Why had Don gone off like that?

"Here, let me take the little guy" Munch said softly, plucking the tiny bundle out of Casey's arms. He rocked the baby back and forth gently until the cries lessened, and the brown eyes drooped shut.

"There you go, little Munchkin. There you are." Munch whispered. "Don't you worry, little guy, Grandpa will come around. He's going to love you, I know it." Munch leaned down and whispered something else to the baby, softly, so the others couldn't hear.

Fin felt a flash of anger shoot through him at his boss's cold treatment of his new nephew. Resolving to talk some sense into him, he marched out of the NICU, and went off in search of his boss. As he passed the waiting room, he heard "Uhfin!!", and rotated immediately.

"Hey, Gabby-girl!!" he told the source of the yell. Gabriela had just recently begun to learn the names of her aunts and uncles, but Fin had a feeling she had found a name that she would continue to call him all her life.

Gabriela reached out for her favourite uncle, and Fin held her to him briefly, drawing strength from her soft skin and sweet smell.

Gabriela protested when Fin put her down, but he quieted her down rapidly. "Uhfin's gotta go, Gabby-girl. He's gotta go yell at your grandpa, so he'll learn to love your new brother as much as your aunt and uncles already do. Yes we do, yeah honey." Fin tweaked his niece's nose and bent down one last time to ask. "What do you think we should name your new brother, Gabby? Huh?"

Gabriela giggled and shied away playfully, blowing a spit bubble.

"Spit? Well, it's very sisterly, but not so socially acceptable" Fin laughed "Why don't you and Gracie chew on that for a little while, while I go find Grandpa."

With renewed vigour, Fin started down the halls, winding in and out of all the possible places he thought Cragen might be, until he found himself winding down several sets of stairs and finding himself in front of a set of doors. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the doors labelled "Morgue".

If Fin thought that it took strength going into the morgue, it was nothing compared to what he saw when he entered. His eyes immediately fell upon his usually strong, tough captain, huddled on the cold floor, hugging his knees and sobbing so hard his whole body shook.

"Oh god...Captain..." Fin breathed.

The captain lifted his head, giving Fin a glance of his red, swollen eyes and tear-soaked face.

Cragen lifted his face to face the wall and spoke in a soft, tear-stained voice.

"You all think I'm cruel, I know. You think I'm cold and emotionless, and all that, but how can I not be? He looks so much like her...and just seeing him there...he's so helpless, Fin, and we are two detectives, an ADA and an old man...how are we supposed to give him the life he deserves?"

Fin felt the truth in the captain's words but stayed silent, knowing the biggest reason was yet to come. And before long, the soft voice came again.

"How can I look at that baby, knowing _I _lost _my_ baby, that same day?"

**A/N #2: Wow, writing that last scene with Cragen was the first time that I regretted killing Elliot and Olivia...weird. I hope nobody's mad at him anymore!**

**Well, Gabriela didn't really give Fin a definitive answer, so any suggestions for names for the baby? It should honor El and/or Liv in some way...**

**Anyhow, enjoy, and please, I need at least 6 reviews to know if you guys are liking this enough to continue.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Okay, this is going to be a short but important chapter. Apologies again for the long wait, I'm still without internet access, so I write these chapters beforehand, and they often go days without posting until I can go somewhere with wireless. Thanks for the feedback, keep it coming!**

Previously:

Fin's eyes immediately fell upon his usually strong, tough captain, huddled on the cold floor, hugging his knees and sobbing so hard his whole body shook. "You all think I'm cruel, I know. You think I'm cold and emotionless, and all that, but how can I not be? He looks so much like her...and just seeing him there...he's so helpless, Fin, and we are two detectives, an ADA and an old man...how are we supposed to give him the life he deserves?"

Fin felt the truth in the captain's words but stayed silent, knowing the biggest reason was yet to come.

"How can I look at that baby, knowing _I _lost _my_ baby, that same day?"

Fin stood speechless as the captain's words washed over him. He had known that the captain had cared deeply about his only child, but he had never known just how much he had loved her, and he didn't know what he could say to assuage that grief. Suddenly all thoughts of yelling at him, all thoughts of berating the captain for his selfishness were gone from his mind. Nonetheless, Fin knew the little boy up in the nursery needed all the family he could get.

"Captain...maybe you're thinking of this the wrong way...maybe the baby reminding you of El and Liv is a good thing. He's a piece of them."

"No!" Don said venomously. "I don't want to be reminded of her. She's gone. Why can't you just accept that that is painful enough without the constant reminder of her and Elliot's death?! I told you, he doesn't belong! He shouldn't even be here! I would expect you to understand, you don't seem to care about your son. Wouldn't it just be easier for you if he didn't exist?"

Despite previous thoughts, Fin felt anger wash over him again.

"My son has nothing to do with this, but for your information I love him very much and I would never want to cut him out of my life. We are all mourning over El and Liv, and it's going to take a long time to get over, if ever, but we need you to get over your selfishness, because that little boy needs all of us."

"Selfishness?! I lost my _daughter_ today!"

"And he lost his mama _and_ his daddy! He lost the people that gave him life, and he'll have to grow up never knowing them. What do you think he's going to feel like when he asks where his mom and dad are, and someone has to tell him about the car crash, and that he was the only one who came out alive?"

Cragen stopped dead at Fin's words. Taking that as a good sign, Fin switched his tone to a pleading one.

"We can't let him go home with strangers. We're all he has left, and he's ours."

"He's so little."Cragen whispered. "We can't raise a little baby, plus two little girls."

"We have to try." Fin persisted. He paused. "They're _family_."

That seemed to have an effect on Cragen. Raising his head and wiping his eyes, he stood shakily.

"Can...can I see him again?" he asked tentatively.

Fin smiled. That wasn't all it was going to take, he knew, but it was a good start.

"Of course. He's been dying to really meet his grandpa."

**A/N #2: Well, Cragen's starting to come around. I think I have a name for the baby in mind, but I'm open to suggestions.**

**Random Fact: When I was writing this, I was listening to You Can Let Go by Crystal Shawanda and One Breath from a Heartache by Adam Gregory on repeat, try listening to them while reading it, they strangely work with the story! **

**So:**

**Will the doctors let the gang take the baby home?**

**Who's home is more set up for children?**

**Who will the babies live with most of the time?**

**How will Cragen react to really meeting his grandson?**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Wow, good thing about being somewhere with nothing to do and no internet access is that I practically write a chapter a day. Problem lies in that I have to do this beta-less though, or it would take 3 times as long to get these chapters up. Well, this is the chapter where the baby is named. It's not the most original name, I was kind of on the fence, but it honoured both Elliot and Olivia. So, on with the show!!**

**When I was writing this chapter, I listened to Bless The Broken Road by Rascal Flatts. This song describes EO perfectly!! Try it while reading, it's an amazing song!**

Previously:

"I lost my _daughter_ today!"

"And he lost his mama _and_ his daddy! He lost the people that gave him life, and he'll have to grow up never knowing them. What do you think he's going to feel like when he asks where his mom and dad are, and someone has to tell him about the car crash, and that he was the only one who came out alive?"

"Can...can I see the baby again?" Cragen asked tentatively.

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It's funny how when a friend dies, you are the one with the regrets; Munch thinks. He was sitting in the rocking chair in the NICU, somewhere he thought he'd never be, rocking his new nephew, and mentally reviewing all the fights with both Elliot and Olivia, and all the times he remembered being so grateful to have them in his life. Mostly, he focused on how he would give absolutely anything to have them back.

The baby stirred briefly, then fell back against Munch's shoulder with a sigh that melted the older man's heart. The pure innocence and trust the baby showed felt foreign Munch, but he silently sent up a prayer of thanks to whoever may be listening for this little baby, this little piece of his beloved friends.

He looked up as Fin came back, with the captain silently trailing behind him. Munch opened his mouth angrily to yell at Don for his treatment of the baby, but Fin shot him a look that plainly said "Not now."

The captain walked up to Munch and the baby, looking like a bad child waiting for a reprimand. Fin made a motion with his head to give the baby to Cragen. Nodding, Munch shifted the baby gently into the captain's arms.

Seeming unable to look at the baby, Cragen instead looked at Fin with absolute wonderment in his eyes.

"He's so small."He breathed.

"He is. Look at him." Munch commanded.

Cragen obediently turned his head down slowly.

"Oh my...hi...hi, little guy." Cragen whispered tearfully as the baby's eyes slowly opened and focused on the old man. "I'm your grandpa. Yeah, I'm so sorry about earlier. You look so much like your mommy and daddy...maybe Uncle Fin is right...maybe that's not such a bad thing."

Fin, Munch and Casey watched as still more tears fell down the captain's face, as he gently brushed his finger down the baby's tiny cheek, the touch conveying apologies, acceptance, love and hundreds more emotions that Don couldn't even put into words.

Don cuddled the baby against his chest and whispered something softly.

"What?" Casey asked.

"Oliver Elliot. That's his name." Cragen whispered, saying it again to himself, feeling it settle on his heart, knowing it was right.

"Oliver." Casey whispered. It was perfect. The name suited the baby perfectly, with the reminders of both Elliot and Olivia. He would be Oliver Elliot Benson-Stabler, so that he would forever remain Elliot and Olivia's child.

A soft knock at the door tore the group out of their reverie. The two nurses from earlier entered with Grace and Gabriela, looking harried and frustrated.

"I'm sorry, we have to get back to our shift." One of them said. "Can you take these guys back?"

"Uhfin!" cried Gabriela, reaching out her arms for Fin, who took her eagerly.

"Hey, come here, Gracie-Bear." said Casey, hurrying across the room and taking Grace from the other nurse. None of the group missed the looks of immense relief that crossed both nurses' faces.

"Were they a lot of trouble?" Munch asked.

"They're very...energetic." replied the taller nurse. "And they seem very attached to you. Miss Gabriela asked for Uncle Fin over and over since he left."

Fin smiled and hoisted Gabriela onto his hip.

"Well, thanks for watching them." He said dismissively, as the nurses beat a hasty retreat.

After they had left, the group found themselves alone in the NICU. Clearing her throat, Casey walked with Grace to where Cragen sat with the baby. She bent down, so the toddler could see the infant.

"Well Gracie, this is your new brother, Oliver." She cooed, as Fin bent down also to let Gabriela see the baby. Gabriela, always the more active of the two, swatted her arm playfully in the baby's direction, but Fin pulled it back before it hit Oliver. Grace, the more gentle child, simply looked quizzically at her new brother.

"Baby?" she questioned.

"Yeah, Gracie. Baby." Cragen smiled, shifting the baby so he was closer to his sister. "Your baby. Can you say 'Brother'?"

"Buttwer!!" Grace yelled gleefully, and everyone laughed.

"Pardon me.." said the voice of the doctor from the doorway. Sobering instantly, they turned to look at him.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but the hospital has contacted Mr. and Mrs. Stabler's beneficiary, and retrieved their will. We'd like you to come down to the conference room to read it."

**Well, Elliot and Olivia are dead, y'all didn't expect me to keep it light for long did you lol. I tried to make this chapter longer to compensate for the shorter one last time. Sorry about the long wait, I couldn't post this chapter until I got home, so it was written and ready for a week before it was posted. So, as per usual, Read and Review!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of any of the original characters, they are all the property of Dick Wolf, something I think Mariska and Chris are pretty grateful for right now. All I own is the doctor, the nurses, Grace, Gabriela and now Oliver. **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Second chapter started in 1 day...wow. And second chapter posted in 2 days. Most of this chapter is a letter being read out, so everything in italics is the letter. Also, I have no knowledge whatsoever of how the legal system works when it comes to wills and such, so just bear with me. That said, writing the will was one of my favourite parts of the story so far. It may be a little OOC, but at least this was a long chapter. And I promise, it won't all be this angsty, I am planning on some fluff! **

**This chapter took me days to get exactly the way I wanted, so I'd love to have lots of reviews on it!**

**When I wrote this, I was listening to Held by Natalie Grant. It's on my playlist of songs to go with this story, along with You Can Let Go Now, One Breath From A Heartache, and Bless the Broken Road.**

**Disclaimer: I wish they did belong to me, I'd treat them a lot better than Dick Wolf would. There would be mandatory EO makeouts every 10 minutes, and Dick Wolf would still have a job – he'd be very busy fetching me coffee, doughnuts and such.**

Previously:

"Oh my...hi...hi, little guy." Cragen whispered tearfully as the baby's eyes slowly opened and focused on the old man. "I'm your grandpa. Yeah, I'm so sorry about earlier. You look so much like your mommy and daddy...maybe Uncle Fin is right...maybe that's not such a bad thing."

"Oliver Elliot. That's his name." Cragen whispered.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but the hospital has contacted Mr. and Mrs. Stabler's beneficiary, and retrieved their will. We'd like you to come down to the conference room to read it." said the doctor.

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Gray numbness filled the minds of the remaining Manhattan Special Victims Unit detectives for what felt like the millionth time that day as they allowed themselves to be led to the conference room. This would determine the fate of the kids, and for all they knew, they could lose the kids forever, and they would never see their only link to their lost friends again.

They were led into a large room with a long table and shown to their seats. A short, portly man entered, looking every inch the self-important lawyer.

When everyone was sitting, the man spoke in a loud, booming voice.

"Okay, everyone, let's get started. I'm ADA Stan Fields, and we are gathered here to read the last will and testament of Elliot and Olivia Stabler, after which we will divide the assets, property and all other items. Alright?"

Receiving general half-nods from around the room, he continued.

"Mr. and Mrs. Stabler have written a letter to the four of you, I will read it out first, then we will certify who gets what – "

"Wait!" Casey burst out suddenly. "Could I read it instead?"

"You are hardly qualified, Miss..." Stan Fields started indignantly.

"I'm Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak, and I would like to read out my friends' will, because I know that's what they would have wanted. You, on the other hand, know nothing about them, so I think it only fit that I read it. Alright?" Casey interrupted testily.

Mr. Fields gave a defeated snort and sat back down reluctantly.

Casey took a deep breath, steadied herself, and began to read.

_I bet you guys are sitting here thinking this is a scene out of a bad movie. Lighten up a little. We all knew that there was a chance that this was going to happen. Both Elliot and I wish that it happened later rather than sooner, but as Elliot says, only God decides those things. _

_It's funny how the most important parts of your life become abundantly clear when it becomes necessary to write one of these. The events that shaped your life, the way these events steered you, the people that helped and hurt you along the way, and how they all led up to what your life is in the end. _

_The people were the most important part for both Elliot and me, and those people know who they are. We do not have enough time in the world to name everyone, and what they meant to both of us, but the most prominent ones deserve to be singled out._

_**Don**__:_

_Officially, you became my dad when the papers went through fourteen months ago. I always say that's bull, because you were my dad all along. From the moment I stepped into your office for the first time, a naive, inexperienced new detective, you knew me. It was so hard for me to focus on myself, to think of myself as special, as deserving. But you always treated me like I was. You brought me food when I was starving myself, you sent me home when I was pulling to many all-nighters, but most importantly, you were there when I needed you, even when I was too proud to admit that I did. When my mother died, I was so grateful it was you telling me, because it turns out that all I really needed was to know that I had someone who cared about me, and that is something you have never disappointed me on. I'll be okay now, Daddy. I love you. _

_Olivia_

_I'll be the first to admit that I'm not easy to work with, even harder to control to authority figures. I honestly don't think there could be anyone else that could have done it, and at the same time be a father to both me and Olivia. For that, I will always be grateful, and you will always hold a special place in my heart. You cared so much, you put your own ass on the line for us so many times, and we both know that _

_it wasn't just because you were our CO. Hey, you ever get your stubborn ass up here with us, you can guarantee there's a special place saved for someone we both love. _

_Elliot_

_**Fin: **_

_Big brother number one. I hate to tell you this, man, but you're not nearly as tough as you think you are, at least not to me. However I might have complained about the violence threats to all the idiots I went out with, know that it meant everything to me that I had someone who wanted to protect me that much. You told me once, when I was worrying that I was becoming my mother, that DNA doesn't mean everything. You have no idea how true those words are as they apply to us. I should have never run that DNA test, because I never had to search to find my brothers. I love you. Be happy with Melinda (yes I knew!) Goodbye, brother._

_Olivia_

_As I'm sure we both know, I don't admit my wrongdoings well, nor do I make friends easily. Takes a pretty strong, determined person to crack my shell, and for awhile I thought only Liv could do it. Looking deeper though, I realized I had a bunch of people who knew me better than I thought. As Liv says, when you're writing your will, all of your special times with the most important people to you all float to the surface of your memory. I found myself actually grateful for the way you yelled after the case with Lake, because you were right. I was being a rat bastard, and you deserved better from someone you had worked so closely with for nine years. After all the years, all the things we both went through, both by ourselves and together, I'm honoured to call you one of my best friends._

_Elliot_

_**Munch**__:_

_Big brother number two. I mean this honestly, I'm amazed by you. After all you've gone through, all the crap your life has thrown at you, you still manage to be a big enough person to dedicate your life to helping other people. I spoke to Amy Solwey recently, she wanted me to tell you that she successfully received the liver transplant, and she owes you everything for her decision to help people live instead of die. It made me proud to hear her talking about you like that, but it didn't surprise me, because whether you choose to accept it or not, you are one of the best men there is, and I've never been so proud to call you my brother as I am now. Take care of everyone, be strong for them, and remember, that silent, strong little girl across the road who became your hero is watching you just like I am, and I know she's smiling too. I love you._

_Olivia_

_It's hard to know what to say to someone, when it's saying goodbye forever. That's probably the hardest part of writing this. I know both of us aren't really in touch with our feelings, at least not as much as we should be, so I'm just going to try and say this to the point: Olivia is right. You are one of the most _

_amazing people I've ever known. You are probably the strongest person I know, the best detective I've ever come across, and one of the most self- sacrificial people alive today. I've got the best friends in the world, of this I am sure. _

_Elliot_

_**Casey**__: _

_My sister. Growing up, I always wished for a sister, I even would be willing to protect her from my mother's drunken rages, but I always wished for someone to tell everything personal to, to share secrets with, and someone who would always be there, because we had been through hell and back together and we grew to love each other. I didn't get someone like that when I was a kid, but I did when I was an adult. That person has always been you, Casey. I know our squad is not exactly welcoming at first, nor is what we deal with good conversation, but I believe it just makes us cling to each other. In fact, I know this is true, because I knew if I needed to talk to someone at the end of a hard day, your office has always been stop number one. I've shared things about my life with you that I couldn't even tell Elliot, because you've always been my sister. Take care of yourself Case, I love you._

_Olivia_

_Casey, you've always been a straight-shooter, and so have I. So I think, for us, the best way to say goodbye is to just say it. Thank you, Casey. Thank you for more things then you or I could possibly count, but most of all, thank you for being there, and thank you for believing in both Liv and me. I know from experience, without someone there who is there for you, who believes in you, you lose faith in yourself. But despite everything that happened to you, you still managed to be strong for everyone else. That's how special you are. So, thank you._

_Elliot._

Casey stopped briefly to clear the tears from her eyes. Looking around the room, she saw Fin and Munch with their head in their hands, shoulders shaking violently with enormous sobs. Cragen wasn't crying, not anymore, but was sitting there with a look of absolute devastation on his face, his eyes screaming _help me!_. Casey steadied her own flood of tears, and began to read again.

_One of the first questions we asked the lawyer was who to leave the kids to, in the event of our deaths. His recommendation was to keep them in the family, and leave them with immediate family, and we agreed. So we are giving custody of the three precious lights of our life to you, because we know that you will raise them to be good people, and we all know that the world needs good people. There is nobody else we would trust with our children, and we know this is the right decision. It is up to you who they live with, but we have one stipulation: no matter what happens between you all, we want all of you to be a part of their lives. Take care of them. _

_Thank you all for being the best family two people could ever ask for. We love all of you so much._

_Elliot and Olivia._

Without a word, the four left behind stood and embraced each other, mourning their dead friends, thanking them for their precious gifts, clinging to each other for dear life.


	9. Chapter 9

**...Aaaaaannnnddd here's chapter 9. The muse left for a long time, so I had nothing good, hence the long wait. I think somewhere in the next few chapters I may skip a few years, but I'll make that clear. **

**And song of this chapter: Something Worth Leaving Behind by LeAnn Womack. I don't like many of her songs, but this one goes perfectly with this story.**

**Disclaimer: They still belong to Dick Wolf. The only things that belong to me are Dr. Mellencamp, Grace, Gabriela, Oliver, and ADA Stan Fields. **

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Previously:

_One of the first questions we asked the lawyer was who to leave the kids to, in the event of our deaths. His recommendation was to keep them in the family, and leave them with immediate family, and we agreed. So we are giving custody of the three precious lights of our life to you._

_Elliot and Olivia_

Without a word, the four left behind stood and embraced each other, mourning their dead friends, thanking them for their precious gifts, clinging to each other for dear life.

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The group clung tightly to each other, crying, shaking, mourning. The grey numbness that had filled this whole horrible day hadn't lifted yet, but knowing they still had each other made all of them a little less heartbroken.

"I'm sorry..." said a tentative voice from the table.

The group raised teary faces to see the doctor trying to get their attention.

"I'm sorry, I know how hard this must be for you, but for the sake of everyone, I think it may be best if we just get through this quickly."

Reluctantly, the group let go of each other and returned to their seats. ADA Stan Fields, looking clearly grateful for his moment to speak, cleared his throat loudly.

"Well, clearly, Mr. and Mrs. Stabler wanted to leave the children in your custody. Do you have any idea who will be the primary caregiver?"

Looking at each other, they exchanged glances.

"All of us. We all love them. They can live with all of us, maybe spend a few weeks at each house. Whatever it takes, but they will be with all of us." Casey stated, a note of finality in her voice, as if daring the pompous ADA to argue.

Tight lipped, Mr. Fields ground out "Fine.", clearly not used to defiance from family of his clients.

Taking a deep, calming breath, he continued. "Mr. and Mrs. Stabler have also left their residence and all other items to you. They say you may sell them if you want, or you may use them. Well, that's about all of it. It was a pleasure doing business for you and I'm very sorry for your loss." The last sentence was spoken automatically, almost robotic, and completely without feeling.

Hoisting himself up, Stan Fields strode out of the room.

The doctor cleared his throat gently, speaking in a soft, almost apologetic voice.

"Again, I'm sorry. On another note, the baby is doing very well. If all goes well, you should be able to bring him home in a week or so. Can you make your homes ready for an infant in that time, because I'm afraid we can't keep him longer than necessary."

"Yes." mumbled Fin. "We'll be ready in time."

"Alright then, I'll tell the nurse to let you see the baby whenever you want, and I would assume you are taking the other two babies home tonight?"

"We'll take them to the stationhouse. We'll all sleep there." answered Munch.

"Well, if you ever need anything, just call." The doctor said softly, before striding out of the room.

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5 Days Later:

It had now been five days since they were informed of Elliot and Olivia's death. Cragen was still having a hard time with the babies, but visited on occasion, whereas the others went every day. Oliver was continuing to do well, breathing and eating well, growing rapidly, and Dr. Mellencamp said he should be ready to come home in 2 days. The group had been sleeping with Grace and Gabriela at the stationhouse, but had readied their homes for the new baby. Two days after Oliver was born, they all went out together and spent their next paychecks on baby supplies. Each had been shocked at the amount of items Oliver needed. A crib, a changing table, diapers, cream, wipes, formula, gripe water, the list went on and on. They each bought everything on the list, and had fixed a room for the baby. Grace and Gabriela regularly slept over at their apartments, so their room was already finished, and their apartments were baby-proofed. The twins were doing well with their parents' deaths, being mostly too young to fully understand. They had told the twins that "Mommy and Daddy went to live with the angels" but they could talk to them, and they would always love them and watch over them. The eighteen-month-olds seemed to accept this.

They had decided that the babies would spend three weeks at each house at a time, but for the first few times, one of them would take Oliver, and one would take Grace and Gabriela.

As put together as everything seemed to be, the news of their friends fate was still indescribably hard. Many of them cried themselves to sleep at night. It would be a long process to accept Elliot and Olivia's deaths, but at the very least, they would always be reminded of them.

And so they waited, coping as best they could, for their new life to begin.

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**A/N: I considered melding this into the chapter where they start to take the baby home, but decided in the end to separate it. **

**I wasn't sure also how they would explain their parent's deaths to the twins, but since Elliot was Catholic, it seemed to make sense that they would tell them that they went to live with angels, even though, to be honest, I'm an atheist.**

**Soooooo, tell me what you think. Don't care how long reviews are, but please review!**

**PaceyW's Girl: Thank you for reviewing nearly every chapter. The reviews are great, they make me want to write more!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Well, the muse has come again, so here's another chapter. I'm thinking probably 2 chapters from now, I'll skip maybe a year or two in time, because if I don't, this story's gonna last forever. **

**Song of the Chapter: Walking Her Home – Mark Schultz. I think the feel of this song just goes with the story, not necessarily the lyrics.**

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Previously:

They had told the twins that "Mommy and Daddy went to live with the angels" but they could talk to them, and they would always love them and watch over them. The eighteen-month-olds seemed to accept this.

They had decided that the babies would spend three weeks at each house at a time, but for the first few times, one of them would take Oliver, and one would take Grace and Gabriela.

And so they waited, coping as best they could, for their new life to begin.

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The day had come. This was the day that life as the SVU squad knew it would never be the same. With one phone call, one death, they had been thrust into a life of grief, shock and loss, and with it, the responsibility of 3 young lives. A life of unplanned parenthood, a life none of them thought they would be living.

These thoughts bounced around furiously in the heads of Casey, Fin, Munch, and Cragen as they drove to the hospital to pick up the baby. They had decided that Grace and Gabriela would say with Fin for the first 3 weeks, with Theresa and Ken's help, and the baby would go with Casey, since Cragen was not quite ready yet, and Munch had not completely set up yet.

Rushing through the now-familiar route to the nursery, they washed and entered as quickly as they could. Walking over to Oliver's bassinette, they found it empty.

"Excuse me..." Casey asked a passing nurse. "Where's Oliver Benson-Stabler?"

"Oh, he's just had his final check-up and they're getting him ready. They should be here within a few minutes if you don't mind waiting."

"No, that's fine" said Casey. "We'll wait."

While they waited, Casey took out the baby carrier she had bought and readied the diaper bag.

The door opened, as a nurse in a pastel smock carried Oliver into the room in a small bundle of blankets. The group brightened at the sight of the little baby. Casey rushed over and collected him in her arms. Oliver looked up at her with a look of contentment that was a perfect mirror of Olivia.

"Well Oliver, I guess this is goodbye." the nurse cooed to the baby. "Ummm, we – the other nurses and I wanted to give you something. The paramedics found these at the – the site of the crash. We aren't sure if you recognize these but they were wearing them...when...when it happened." She held up two pendants, a gold rectangle on a delicate chain, and a silver pendant with a saint on it.

Fin slowly took them into his hands and nodded, teary-eyed. "It's his St. Christopher medal and her Fearlessness necklace. They never took them off." He whispered, barely holding back the tears.

"Well, maybe you can give them to the children when they're older." The nurse suggested.

Nodding, Casey quickly took Oliver and gently placed him in his car seat. "C'mon baby, time to go home" she whispered gently.

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Casey unlocked the door to her apartment, being careful not to jostle Oliver, who was sleeping, scrunched up and peaceful, in the car seat. Entering the dark, she flicked the kitchen light on.

"Okay, baby, let's both lie down." She whispered. She walked carefully with Oliver to the room she had set up for him, but somehow couldn't bring herself to put him in little bassinette in the room. Carefully setting Oliver down on her bed, she moved the bassinette into her room and placed him in. Lying down in her own bed, she quickly fell into a deep sleep.

What seemed to be minutes later, Oliver's tinny cries roused Casey. Fetching the tiny baby from the bassinette, experience from the twins took over. Moving into the kitchen, she laid him down on the table and checked his diaper. Finding it clean, she moved quickly to the microwave and prepared a bottle. She checked its temperature, then sat down with Oliver on the couch and fed him. Periodically, Oliver would lift his eyes and stare at Casey, in a look that somehow reminded Casey of both Elliot and Olivia.

He finished quickly, and Casey burped him, and then lay down with him on the couch. Almost subconsciously, she began to sing softly, no real song in particular, but the kind of song you make up as you go along. She heard Oliver sigh contentedly, rest his head on her chest, and fall asleep.

Transferring him to her shoulder, she kissed his soft head. "Goodnight, my beautiful baby. Aunt Casey loves you so much. And you're going to be someone your mommy and daddy would be proud of."

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After Fin dropped Casey off in her apartment, he rushed home, where he found Ken on the floor, playing with Grace.

Ken looked up at the sound of the door opening. "Oh hey Dad. How did it go with the baby?"

"Fine, Casey has him at her place. What are you guys doing?" Fin answered.

"Oh, me and Gracie are trying to play hide and seek, but I don't think she understands the concept." Ken laughed, leaning in and blowing a raspberry on Gracie's stomach, making her shriek with laughter.

Fin managed a chuckle, then made his way into the kitchen, where he found Melinda, making dinner with Gabriela sitting on the counter, a sight that made him smile. Fin walked up to Melinda and gave her a quick kiss.

"How's it going here?" He asked.

"Just fine. We're making tacos, and Gabbie here is helping me mix." Melinda replied

"Make dinner!!" said Gabriela gleefully. Fin smiled. "Good job there, Miss Gabby-Girl."

"It's just about ready. Can you set the table?" asked Melinda.

Nodding to the affirmative, Fin set it quickly.

During dinner, Fin noticed how Ken leaned right in and engaged with the toddlers. _He's so good with them,_ Fin thought. And seeing the look of adoration in their eyes when the twins looked at Ken made him so proud of his son.

Dinner was finished quickly, and they played quietly with the twins, until they started to get fussy and rub their eyes.

"OK, I think it's bath and bedtime." Fin noted.

"Right, well I actually have to get home. Are you going to be okay?" said Melinda.

Fin nodded, Melinda kissed him on the cheek and slipped out quietly.

Fin bathed the girls extra quickly, prepared their bottles, and settled himself in the rocking chair, a child on each knee. Fishing one of their stories out of the bin, he read it to them animatedly, before noticing them sleeping already.

Fin laid the children in their beds gently, pleased when they didn't wake.

"Goodnight Ms. Grace Casey. 'Night, Ms. Gabriela Joy." He paused.

"I think we're going to be okay."

**A/N #2: Fluff ahead, I've hurled enough angst at you for now. Tell me what you think!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I'm writing this quickly before school because I wanted to get another chapter posted, and pleased to say there's some fluff!! Taking a welcome break from angst-world lol. **

**Song of the Chapter: Keep Breathing – Ingrid Michealson. Some of you who watch Grey's Anatomy might know this song from the season 3 finale. **

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Fin laid the children in their beds gently, pleased when they didn't wake.

"Goodnight Ms. Grace Casey. 'Night, Ms. Gabriela Joy." He paused.

"I think we're going to be okay."

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SIX MONTHS LATER:

It had now been six months since Elliot and Olivia had died and the kids had come to live with the squad. In those six months, they had battled loss, grief, and the hole that their deaths had left, but also taken on a life of surrogate parenthood, a life they had all come to love.

About 3 ½ months ago, they had started transferring all 3 children together to the different houses. The children adjusted much better than the group had anticipated. They looked forward to visiting new houses every time they were told it was time to go. The only problem they encountered, save for the usual toddler tantrums, was sometimes, the twins would get so worked up that they would throw themselves on the floor, kicking and screaming that they wanted Mommy and Daddy, and not allow any of the squad to touch them. During these times, they found it was better to let them cry themselves out then talk to them again about how mommy and daddy still loved them, but they lived with angels now.

The first day of daycare was hard for all members of the squad. They had become very attached to the children, and were very scared to leave them. That first day, the four of them sat watching the clock all day, jumped up the minute it hit 5:00, and bolted to the daycare to pick their kids up. Other than that, they were settling into the new routine quite well. All of them could now look after all three kids on their own, so they shifted off houses every 3 weeks easily.

Oliver was now six months old, growing so rapidly that the squad could not believe it. He recognized his sisters, Casey, Fin, Munch, Melinda, Cragen, and George Huang, who occasionally babysat him or came to visit. When he saw someone he knew, he cooed loudly and held his arms up insistently to be picked up. His brown eyes hadn't changed since birth, and he had a downy covering of brown hair on his head. He had started to look so much like Elliot around the face, but his eyes were replicas of Olivia's eyes.

Today was Grace and Gabriela's second birthday, and the squad was taking them to their favourite place, the beach. The twins were "water babies", they loved to swim on every occasion they could. They had been so excited, they had barely gotten any sleep the night before at Cragen's.

Cragen was roused from sleep by 2 weights suddenly flinging themselves at his bed.

"Grandpa! Grandpa! Today our birthday! Birthday, birthday, birthday!! GO TO BEACH! GET UP, GRANDPA!!" the twins shouted happily as they pounced on his bed, clearly too excited to go back to bed.

Cragen opened his bleary, sleep clogged eyes, and peered at the clock beside his bed, which read 5:17 AM.

Sighing, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and embraced his grandchildren, running like eager puppies around his legs.

"Alright, Grandpa's little angels, let's go get up your brother and have some breakfast. You guys are staying with Uncle Munch tonight, so we have to get you ready too."

The twins ran to Oliver's room, where he still slept. Leaning over his crib, Gabriela shouted "Wake up, buttwer!! It our birthday! We go to beach! We go to Uncle Munchie's tonight!"

Startled awake by the loud noise, Oliver began to wail. Sighing, Cragen picked him up and rocked him until he quieted. "Gabriela Joy, how many times has Grandpa told you..."

"Don't shout, Oliver just a baby. Sorry Grandpa. Sorry Oliver." Gabriela filled in with a heart-melting smile, leaning over and giving Oliver a kiss.

"Alright." Cragen smiled. "Let's get you guys ready."

They arrived at the beach around noon to have lunch. Casey had made sure to pack healthy lunches for the children, even on their birthdays. After lunch though, Munch and Fin sneaked the twins off to the side, and gave them each a chocolate bar as a special birthday treat.

"Don't tell Aunt Casey!" they warned laughingly.

They quickly changed the twins into their bathing suits with their arm floaties, and Oliver into his little bathing suit. The twins could barely contain themselves as Casey made sure the arm floaties were on tight.

"Now SWIM!! Come, Aunt Casey! We swim!!" the twins rushed at the water, so fast that Casey could barely keep up with them. Fin took Oliver out of his carrier and carried him gently into the water. Oliver held tighter to Fin but didn't cry as they waded deeper and deeper into the water.

For the next few hours, they took turns playing with each child in the water. About an hour after they arrived, Oliver started to get fussy, so Fin came out briefly and handed him off to Cragen, who retrieved the bottle he'd brought and sat in the shade, feeding him. As he ate, Oliver's little eyes started to close, so Cragen placed him in his baby carrier for his nap. He wasn't worried about Oliver waking up with all the noise, Oliver could sleep through anything. Taking advantage of the baby sleeping, Cragen left for his turn with the twins, while Casey sat beside Oliver and read.

"FUN FUN FUN, Grandpa!!" Gabriela shouted as she ran her tiny hand through the water and doused him with a wave. Her enthusiasm was contagious, and soon they were all chasing the twins around the shallow water, laughing when they fell in.

After the cake had been eaten (and the subsequent sugar rush had worn off) and the enormous pile of presents had been opened (it turned out all of the gang had tried to buy just one, but as Casey put it "There were so many things that they would love, and who are we to deprive them of that?"), the party quieted down and the guests started to leave, kissing the kids on their way out.

"OK, bath time!" Munch called, walking into the living room after putting the baby down. Looking down though, he found two little girls who were struggling to keep their eyes open. Smiling, he picked one up in each arm and carried them to their beds. They were asleep the moment they hit the pillow.

And as Munch walked down the hall, he realized that however crazy it may be looking after 3 children, he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: It's been a long wait, I know, but the muse packed up and left, and it took some serious bribery on my part to get it back. Some more fluff, but I've still got plenty of twists and turns left, and of course we have to return to angstland eventually.**

**Song of the Chapter: Come Home Soon – SHeDAISY. I really didn't like this band until I heard this song in an X-Files video, now I can't stop listening to it. It's nicely sad and mournful, like this story.**

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Previously:

About 3 ½ months ago, they had started transferring all 3 children together to the different houses. The children adjusted much better than the group had anticipated.

Munch realized that however crazy it may be looking after 3 children, he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

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TWO MONTHS LATER:

Days off were rare at Manhattan SVU. It could probably be said that they lived by the saying "people who don't like their life make work their life." Three years ago, this was certainly true. They threw themselves into their work, having nothing else to fill their lives. Days off were misnomers, as they came in on those days anyway. Whatever their motivation, work was their lives, and they took no time for themselves.

Then three lives had come into the world, innocent and uncorrupted, and they became the most important things. The squad would go to any lengths to protect them, and to keep them happy. Grace, Gabriela and Oliver had completely changed the lives of Casey, Fin, Munch and Cragen for the better.

So when the Board notified them that because they had not taken a day off in almost 2 years, and that they would be required to take a few days off, this became a good thing. Today, they planned on taking the kids to the zoo for the day, and even Oliver was happier than usual, as if he knew today was a day his whole family would be together.

The kids had been staying at Casey's house for the past week, so they met in the food court of the Zoo. Casey struggled in the double stroller with Oliver's baby carrier balanced on top of it. She had been the one to pack the kids up, and she now carried a large bag bursting to the top with bathing suits, sunscreen, towels, diapers, baby food, and more. It never ceased to amaze her how much stuff the children needed.

"There are!!"shouted Gabbie, still the louder of the two. "There Gapa, Aunt Casey, Uhfin, Uncle Munchie!" she waved frantically as the group made their way over to the children.

"Hiya, Gabbie-Girl!"said Fin, scooping the little girl out of the stroller and tickling her belly. Laughing, Casey did the same with Grace.

"There's the baby boy!" Melinda said, peering down at Oliver. "Come here, O." She lifted the eight-month-old out of his carrier, marvelling at how big he was getting. Leaving Munch to push the empty stroller, they set off with the children in their arms.

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The Bronx Zoo was huge, and the seven of them took their time wandering around to all the exhibits, testing the twins on their animal names.

"That's called a tiger, Gracie." coached Fin. "Can you say tiger?"

After several attempts, Grace finally spoke "Tigger!"she called triumphantly.

The group burst into laughter "Close enough, I guess, Gracie."Fin chuckled.

Walking further, they came to the penguins. "What about those, Gabbie? Can you say penguin?"Cragen asked.

"Pingu!" she replied immediately. (**A/N: Anyone remember that show? Blast from the past.**)

"Noooo Gabbie. Not 'pingu'. Penguin."

"No!"Gabbie insisted. "He pingu. I say it right, you wrong! You WRONG, Gapa! I win!!"

"No sweetheart, it's _not_..."

"OK!" Casey interjected. "That's enough. Don, she's _two_."

Don brushed this off with a laugh, and they continued on.

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After lunchtime, the girls were getting hot and a little cranky, so they decided to take a swim. Munch brought Oliver into the little kiddie pool, muttering something about how pools were designed to make the old and unattractive feel terrible about themselves. The others ignored him as he sat down and helped Oliver sit down in the water. Fingering the water gingerly, the baby suddenly smiled mischievously and brought his tiny hand down on the water as hard as he could, sending a splash of water flying into Munch's glasses. Sputtering, Munch rubbed at his eyes frantically, sending Oliver into fits of laughter.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you, O?" Munch smiled when he was finally able to see straight.

Oliver giggled as if to say yes, earning another smile from his disgruntled uncle.

Over at the little water park, Casey played with the twins, then sat down and watched them closely as they chased each other.

"They yours?" a voice asked. Casey looked up to see a tall, thin woman wearing a pinched, angry look.

"Guess you could say that, yes. Something wrong?" Casey answered.

"They're awfully noisy. And rather rambunctious, I might add." The woman said, her words sounding more like an accusation than an observation.

"Well, it's a kids water park." Casey pointed out. "They're not exactly designed to be quiet. Besides, they're having a blast."

"Are you their mother?" the woman asked.

"No." said Casey. "I'm their guardian. Their parents died eight months ago."

"So they left the children to be raised only by you?" the woman asked, incredulity and disapproval clearly evident in her voice.

"No, the twins and their eight-month-old brother are being raised by me, their 2 uncles and their grandfather."

The woman looked at her with a shocked, horrified look, giving a disbelieving snort. Her ignorance was rapidly wearing Casey out.

"Look, ma'am..."

"Mariette Steadly."

"Alright, Mariette Steadly. You're making the fact that you don't agree with the way we're raising these children abundantly clear, and I'm saying this right now so that you don't insult my dead friends, because if you did, I guarantee you I wouldn't be saying this as patiently as I am. Their parents left them to us, and we love them. They are the most important things in all of our lives. If you don't agree with that, that's your business. But don't judge us or their parents, because we are dealing with this in the best way we know how, and it's working for us."

Mariette Steadly stood in mute shock as Casey finished.

"Excuse me."Casey said, standing and running off to join her nieces.

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The left the zoo just after dinnertime, with three exhausted children in the backseat of Casey's car. For a reason beyond Casey's comprehension, the twins refused to sleep in their own beds, insisting they sleep with their Aunt Casey.

Casey settled down in her big bed, snuggling her nieces close. As exhausted as Casey was, she kept hearing a nagging little voice in the back of her head, that maybe, just maybe, the conversation with that obnoxious woman at the zoo was a smokescreen for something much, much bigger.

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**A/N: And back into angstland we go! Here's the playlist for this story recapped:  
**

**You Can Let Go – Crystal Shawanda**

**One Breath from a Heartache – Adam Gregory**

**Bless the Broken Road – Rascal Flatts**

**Held – Natalie Grant**

**Something Worth Leaving Behind – LeAnn Womack**

**Walking Her Home – Mark Schultz **

**Keep Breathing – Ingrid Michelson**

**Come Home Soon – SheDAISY**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Here's chapter 13. I can't believe how fast this story is going by. Feels like just yesterday I started this story...**

**On a completely unrelated topic, anyone seen Spamalot? I went to see it, now I can't get "Brave Sir Robin" and "The Song That Goes Like This" out of my head...**

**Song of the Chapter: Joy To The World – Three Dog Night. (Yes, I've been watching too much X-Files, where they sing that all the time) I've decided that sometimes I'm going to put the song in the chapter, so any parts of the song that don't fit the story, just bear with me.**

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Previously:

As exhausted as Casey was, she kept hearing a nagging little voice in the back of her head, that maybe, just maybe, the conversation with that obnoxious woman at the zoo was a smokescreen for something much, much bigger.

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THREE WEEKS LATER:

Casey was aware of a distinct difference between the sides of the bed as soon as she woke up. The twins were sleeping with her, as had become the recent trend. Grace was usually willing to be persuaded into her own bed, but Gabbie had become uncharacteristically clingy in the last three weeks. The usually independent Gabriela Joy had clung onto the squad constantly, not even wanting to go to daycare, which she loved. Casey had even seen her slowing down in the past few weeks, and it was beginning to worry her.

She reached out and felt her hand land on Grace. She still slept peacefully. Casey felt with her other hand and touched Gabriela. She pulled her hand back in shock, instantly awake. Gabriela was burning up – worse then Casey had ever seen in Gabbie's whole life.

"Gabbie, sweetie?" Casey called, gently lifting the little girl onto her lap. "Gabbie, open your eyes. Look at Aunt Casey."

Gabriela groaned, lifting her head as if it weighed a ton, and peered at Casey through swollen eyes.

"Oh, poor Gabbie. Are you feeling sick, honey? Does your tummy hurt?" Gabriela nodded pathetically.

Casey ran to the bathroom and grabbed the thermometer. She lifted Gabbie into her lap again and stuck the thermometer under her tongue. Gabbie sighed and leaned against Casey. Casey stroked her niece's hair soothingly. They sat this way for several minutes, and with every minute that passed, Casey grew more worried. Gabriela had been sick before, of course, but even sick, her exuberant personality still showed through. Now she was completely limp, not herself at all. Although, thinking back, Grace had been strangely in little ways over the last couple of weeks. She had told Casey on several occasions that 

she had "hurts", or little bruises, she had stopped eating as much as she usually did, she did play rambunctiously still, but she sat out more, and she had been falling asleep earlier than usual.

The thermometer's beep jolted Casey back to the present. Peering at it closely, she saw it read 100 degrees.

"Oh my goodness, Gabbie. You certainly are sick." Casey exclaimed, shocked, as she smoothed some sweaty hair off Gabbie's face.

"Aunt Casey...I gonna be sick..."Gabbie managed to get out.

Casey threw back the toilet seat and managed to get Gabriela there in time for the little girl to retch again and again into the toilet. Casey held her up, rubbing her back soothingly and stroking her hair. When Gabriela had finished, Casey rinsed off her mouth and helped her take a sip of water. The little girl collapsed against her aunt, exhausted.

"Ok, Gabbie. I'm going to tuck you onto the couch, and then we're going to call Grandpa to come get O and Gracie. You're going to stay with Aunt Casey until your tummy is feeling better, okay? Gabriela nodded mutely.

Casey tucked her under a blanket on the couch, and strode to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Don, it's Casey. Can you come get Oliver and Gracie today?"

"Casey? Sure, I can come. Why isn't Gabbie coming?"

"She's sick. Really sick. Her temperature's 100, and I don't want the other kids catching it."

"Alright, I'll be there in an hour."

"Thanks Don. Bye"

"See you in an hour."

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By the time that Don arrived, Casey had woken and packed Gracie and Oliver, fed them and packed them up. Gabbie had been napping on the couch, and Grace went over periodically, to pat her twin's head and stroke her hair.

They heard the key turn in the door, and Don came in. Grace ran to him, screaming his name and Oliver cried out "Ga! Ga!" from where he lay on a blanket on the floor. They quickly packed the children's things into the back of his car, and he loaded the children in. On the way out, Gracie kissed Gabbie's head and whispered "Feel better, sister."

Don made his way over to the child, sitting on the couch and rubbing his granddaughter's back. He exclaimed when he felt how hot she was. Gabbie stirred and opened her eyes a slit.

"Hi, Gabbie. You stay with Aunt Casey and feel better. I'll come visit you. Love you, my little angel." He kissed her forehead and stood.

"Thanks again, Don." Casey said, the relief evident in her voice.

"Not a problem, Case. I'll come visit her whenever I can, but I understand why you want to keep the other kids away from her."

They hugged, and Cragen left for his car, driving away with Grace and Oliver.

While Gabbie napped, Casey washed Gabbie's sheets and her own, laying fresh ones on her bed.

After she was done, she walked over to the couch and gently shook Gabbie to wake her up.

"Come on, Gabbie. Let's get you into the bath, so you're more comfortable." Casey suggested, noting again how sweaty the tiny girl was.

All through the bath, Casey held Gabbie up. She cried through most of it, saying the water was too cold, but stopped when Casey lifted her out. Casey gave her a bit of children's aspirin for fever, and carried her to bed. She tried to put her down, but Gabbie cried and clung to her. So Casey sat her down on her lap, rocked her and softly sang the first song that came to mind:  
_"Jeremiah was a bullfrog  
Was a good friend of mine  
I never understood a single word he said  
But I helped him a-drink his wine_

_Joy to the world  
All the boys and girls now  
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea  
Joy to you and me"_

By the time that she looked down, Gabriela was asleep, relatively peaceful. She tucked her into bed gently, chastising herself for worrying so much. This was just a simple fever. Gabbie had had them before. There was nothing to worry about. Right?

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**A/N: Poor sick little Gabbie. Sick children are never fun, they do tend to cry and sleep a lot more. I looked after my three-year-old neighbour when she was sick, usually she's VERY loud, but she was so quiet, she just slept on my shoulder...**

**Anyhoo, didn't I tell ya we're going back into angstland...but only two weeks till the new SVU!! Can't wait! So enjoy and REVIEW!!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Here's a short chapter, but it's setting up for the more important events. Thanks again to PaceyW's Girl who reviews every chapter!**

**Song of the Chapter: Angel's Lullaby – Reba McEntire. Reba sang this song on the Reba show, it's a beautiful lullaby. **

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Previously:

Gabriela had told Casey on several occasions that she had "hurts", or little bruises, she had stopped eating as much as she usually did, she did play rambunctiously still, but she sat out more, and she had been falling asleep earlier than usual.

Peering at the thermometer closely, Casey saw it read 100 degrees.

Casey chastised herself for worrying so much. This was just a simple fever. Gabbie had had them before. There was nothing to worry about. Right?

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ONE WEEK LATER:

Casey was beginning to think she was justified in worrying about Gabriela after all. It had been a week since Gabbie had first gotten sick and she wasn't getting better. In fact, she was getting worse. She had less and less energy, Casey had to get her up to eat and drink. She was still feverish, and she had been complaining of headaches that were getting worse and worse. She also seemed to be lightheaded and dizzy whenever she got out of bed, although Casey attributed that to spending so much time in bed.

Casey took care of her day in and day out, as Gabbie frequently woke up in the middle of the night to throw up. Her boss was calling and saying that Casey really should get back to work, but Casey told her that her little niece was sick and she was not coming back until she was at least satisfied that Gabriela was on the road to recovery.

The situation was worrying the others too. They visited as much as they could, given their schedules, and were beginning to worry that Gabbie should be over a fever by now. The headaches worried them too. When one of them would hit, Gabbie seemed to be in constant pain. That upset the squad immensely, nearly bringing Fin to tears when he was visiting. He watched Gabbie groan in pain, hold her arms out for her favourite uncle, saying "Uhfin..head hurts. Make head stop hurting." Fin felt his eyes well immediately. He felt so helpless, seeing his beloved niece in so much pain, with nothing he could do about it.

Casey had left a message on the doctor's answering machine two days ago, and he had called back that same day, saying not to worry. Small children were prone to illness, and the headaches were probably 

due to not eating enough. Give Gabbie a few days, and she should turn the corner. Although Casey knew that he had far more experience with this then she did, she could not shake the feeling that something much more serious was going on.

A scream from upstairs jolted her to the present. Casey rushed upstairs as the scream came again and again. Running into Grace and Gabbie's room, she found the child holding her head, screaming in pain.

"HURTS!! HURTS SOOO MUCH! MAKE IT STOP AUNT CASEY!"

Casey looked in horror at her niece, frozen in panic for a moment. Snapping herself out if it and rushing forward, she grabbed Gabriela out of the bed and raced downstairs. Stopping only for a moment to rip Gabriela's shoes and her own of the mat, she ran the stairs to her car.

She had no idea how she forced her shaking hands to strap Gabbie into her seat, the child still screaming, now also with fear.

Casey pointed her car toward the hospital, not caring if she was speeding. While she drove, she dialed the number of the one person who she thought could possibly remain calm enough to talk her down.

"Munch."

"John, it's Casey. I need you to call the guys and tell them to meet me at Mercy Hospital."

Casey heard a note of panic as John took in the screaming coming from the backseat. "What should I tell them?"

"That the doctor was wrong. This isn't just a fever. It's much more serious."

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**A/N #2: And there we are! Any guesses on what's wrong? **

**Review please!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: New Grey's, House, and most importantly, SVU in just 1 week! Here's the next chapter, aren't y'all glad I don't own SVU lol? As I said before though, the power does feel good. I'm starting to get why DW likes to jerk us fans around all the time.**

**Please bear with me on the medical side of this, I'm definitely not a doctor, and my wireless cut out on me, so the medicine may not be accurate.**

**Song of the Chapter: Streets of Heaven – Sherrie Austin, who is a completely underrated singer. This song is heartbreaking, check it out. **

**Disclaimer: ...let's see: I kill Elliot and Olivia, leave their children to be raised by the rest of the squad, then make one of their children sick...Mariska, Chris and everyone else are probably having a party celebrating the fact that they don't belong to me.**

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Previously:

Casey was beginning to think she was justified in worrying about Gabriela after all. It had been a week since Gabbie had first gotten sick and she wasn't getting better. In fact, she was getting worse. She had less and less energy, Casey had to get her up to eat and drink. She was still feverish, and she had been complaining of headaches that were getting worse and worse. She also seemed to be lightheaded and dizzy whenever she got out of bed, although Casey attributed that to spending so much time in bed.

A scream from upstairs jolted her to the present. Casey rushed upstairs as the scream came again and again. Running into Grace and Gabbie's room, she found the child holding her head, screaming in pain.

"The doctor was wrong. This isn't just a fever. It's much more serious."

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Casey rushed into the emergency room so fast, she was not sure her feet even touched the ground.

"Help!" she called "My niece needs help!"

A nurse rushed over at Casey and Gabriela's combined screaming.

"What happened?" she asked, rapidly assessing Gabbie.

"I don't know...she'd been sick, with headaches this past week, then all of a sudden she grabbed her head and started screaming" Casey replied, only half aware of the tears that were starting to stream down her face and the horrible sense of déjà vu in her stomach.

"Go to the counter and fill out her forms, a doctor will come to meet you later" the nurse rapped out, snatching Gabbie from Casey's arms and carting her through the emergency room.

Casey moved numbly to the counter, where an admitting nurse was waiting for her. She took the offered forms and mechanically filled them out. _This is all my fault, she thought. If I had brought Gabbie in here earlier, she wouldn't be so sick and they would find out what this is without her having to go through all this. Elliot and Olivia trusted me to look after her and I failed. I..._

She looked up when she heard three sets of footsteps running into the ER. Casey saw Cragen rush to the counter.

"We're here for Gabriela Joy Benson-Stabler" he barked.

The admitting nurse flipped through her chart and reported "They're still running tests on her. You can go sit with that other lady and wait."

Cragen looked over and spotted Casey. "Case! What happened?" he cried.

"I don't know. All of a sudden she just started screaming" Casey answered, tears still making a steady path down her cheeks. The guys knelt around her, patting her knees and assuring her that this wasn't her fault, and that Gabbie would be fine.

Sometime later, they heard someone call "family of Gabriela Benson-Stabler?"

They jumped up immediately, and recognized the face of Dr. Mellencamp, the doctor who had informed them of Elliot and Olivia's death.

"How is she?" Fin asked.

"Why don't you come with me and I'll take you to her?" Dr. Mellencamp answered.

They nodded and he led them down hallways and corridors, into an area with a sign that read "Paediatric Unit". The doctor led them to chairs in the empty waiting room and beckoned them to sit.

"Alright, the first thing you need to know is that we don't have a definitive answer yet. We're still running test, but we should know for sure in a few days. What we do know is that it's likely it's very serious. Gabriela is a very sick little girl."

Casey gasped, her face as white as a ghost.

"With what?" Munch finally spoke.

"As I said, we don't know definitively, but we suspect a tumor in her brain. Have you noticed her having any headaches besides this one, nausea, light-headedness, loss of energy and appetite, and such?"

"Yes." Casey whispered.

"Well, these are fairly classic signs of a brain tumor. It's the most likely possibility, but it's also possible it's something else. Try not to worry too much."

Casey stifled an incredulous laugh. He had just told them that Gabbie, their Gabbie, could have a brain tumor, and he expected them not to worry.

Munch stood. "We need to see her now."

"Of course. She's under sedation, so she may be a little groggy, but she'll be happy to see you."

They followed the doctor into a room bright with flowered wallpaper, crossing over to the bed. Gabriela slept, an oxygen tube around her nose, her tiny body barely making a mound beneath the covers.

They didn't even notice when the doctor slipped out of the room as they made their way quietly over to the bed.

"Hi, baby." Munch whispered, kissing Gabriela's head and smoothing her hair.

Gabbie stirred, then slowly woke.

"Uhfin...Grandpa...what happen?"

"You're still not feeling well, sweetie, so the doctors are going to see where you hurt so they can make you better." Fin filled in, seeing everyone else lost for an explanation.

"Okay...sleepy" Gabriela yawned.

"Go to sleep then, sweetie. We'll be here when you wake up." Casey said, as she sat gingerly on the bed, grasping Gabriela's little hand in hers.

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It was about an hour later that the three others decided to go quickly to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee, and to call Huang to check on Grace and Oliver. Casey promised to call them right away if Gabbie woke or the doctor came with more news.

She sat in the same position she had been when Gabbie had fallen asleep, still clasping the tiny girl's hand. She was struck as she looked at Gabbie, how small and sick she had looked. Gabbie had always seemed older than she actually was, and as someone who spent a lot of time with the kids, sometimes, Casey realized, she did forget to appreciate how special the children were to her. Casey though of how many families lost members and had nothing left of them. They were so lucky to have these beautiful children who reminded of their missing friends day in and day out.

Casey stifled a sob as she bent down and gently kissed her niece's forehead.

"Please get well, Gabbie. We need you. Please God" she whispered. "We need her to get well." Casey leaned down and settled her head on the pillow beside Gabriela.

As she rested, soft music coming from the nurses' station caused her to cry harder and harder, as she listened reverently to the music:

_Hello God, it's me again. 2:00 a.m., Room 304.  
Visiting hours are over, time for our bedside tug of war.  
This sleeping child between us may not make it through the night.  
I'm fighting back the tears as she fights for her life.  
_

_Well, it must be kind of crowded,  
On the streets of Heaven.  
So tell me: what do you need her for?  
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.  
But right now I need her so much more.  
She's much too young to be on her own:  
Barely just turned seven.  
So who will hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven?_

_Lord, don't you know she's my angel  
You got plenty of your own  
And I know you hold a place for her  
But she's already got a home  
Well I don't know if you're listenin'  
But praying is all that's left to do  
So I ask you Lord have mercy, you lost a son once too_

And it must be kind of crowded,  
On the streets of Heaven.  
So tell me: what do you need her for?  
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.  
But right now I need her so much more.  
Lord, I know once you've made up your mind,  
There's no use in beggin'.  
So if you take her with you today, will you make sure she looks both ways,  
And would you hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven.

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It must have been only minutes later that Fin, Munch, and Cragen walked back into the room, and Casey immediately lifted her head. Shortly behind them walked Dr. Mellencamp.

"Good evening" he said cordially. "Would you all mind sitting down? We have Gabriela's test results."

They sat numbly, listening carefully.

"It's good news and bad news. The bad news is that we have determined that Gabriela does have an **astrocytoma low-class** tumor in her brain. The good news is that it's benign, which means that it's noncancerous."

The group breathed a sigh of relief.

"It's been pressing on her brain, causing it to swell. That's why we need to remove it immediately. Once we do, the swelling should go down, we'll start her on a course of antibiotics, and she should be fine."

"Brain surgery?" Casey squeaked, moving protectively closer to Gabbie.

"I'm afraid so. The sooner we can get to it, the better, especially for a child of her age."

"When?"

"With your consent, I'll book an OR for tomorrow."

"Yes" said Casey. "That sounds fine. But..." she hesitated.

"But what?" the doctor prodded gently.

"Are you sure that this is what it is? Are you sure that brain surgery is really necessary?"

The doctor nodded. "I've studied her MRI's closely, consulted with the paediatric attending doctor and the neurosurgeon, because benign brain tumors at her age are quite uncommon. They've all agreed that this is what it is, and these are the steps to go about treating it."

Casey nodded slowly.

"I know this is a lot to digest. I'll have the paediatric attending come up and explain everything to you, and as always, if you have any question, please don't hesitate" the doctor said gently, as his beeper went off.

"Excuse me" Dr. Mellencamp said, slipping out of the room.

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**Enjoy, and REVIEW!!**

**FaithTimFan16**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Here's chapter 16. The muse comes and goes...but it's gone most of the time and promises of presents are only doing so much...so the wait between the next few chapters may be longer.**

**sg1star – Oh, I wish I could take credit for the song. But I didn't write it, it's called Streets of Heaven by Sherrie Austin. I've heard the song that you're talking about, which is Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton, right? I love that song, I have it on my iTunes by both Eric Clapton and Tim McGraw and I considered it for this chapter, but since I didn't plan to kill Gabbie, Streets of Heaven fit better.**

**Cheerleader2006 – I hope your dad has recovered, and I love all reviews, so thank you for yours!**

**PaceyW's Girl – As always, thank you for taking the time to review!**

**Song of the Chapter – When The Lights Go Down – Faith Hill. She really belts it out on this one. This song is just one everyone can really relate to. **

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Previously:

"It's good news and bad news. The bad news is that we have determined that Gabriela does have an **astrocytoma low-class** tumor in her brain. The good news is that it's benign, which means that it's noncancerous."

"It's been pressing on her brain, causing it to swell. That's why we need to remove it immediately. Once we do, the swelling should go down, we'll start her on a course of antibiotics, and she should be fine."

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Today was the day of Gabbie's surgery, and she had just gone in. The paediatric attending had assured them that it wasn't nearly as serious a procedure as it sounded, there was little chance of it going wrong, and that Gabbie would be fine in a few weeks.

Fin knew that the doctors knew what they were doing, and that in all likelihood, Gabbie would be just fine. The level headed detective in him confirmed that. But as an uncle and a surrogate parent, Fin was going out of his mind with worry. He paced around the waiting room along with the rest of the gang, Melinda, George, Ken, Grace and Oliver.

"Uhfin, where sister?" asked Grace.

Pausing for a minute to think of a reasonable explanation, he knelt down beside the little girl.

"Gabbie has a hurt inside her head, Gracie, and the doctors are taking her to a special room and using special medicine to make her all better."

"Oh. I have hurt in my head?"

"No, Gracie-Bear, your head has no hurts" Casey filled in for Fin, while cradling Oliver, who was rapidly drifting off to sleep.

"Oh...OK." Grace replied, clearly still confused.

"Who's here for a ...Gabriela Joy Benson-Stabler?" a doctor dressed in light blue scrubs called out.

They jumped up, startling Oliver, who still lay in Casey's arms.

"We are."

The doctor came to sit beside them. "The surgery went very well. We got the entire tumor out, and she should be just fine. She's resting in recovery now, but you should be able to see her in about an hour" he reported rapidly.

They let out a collective sigh of relief, thanking the doctor and shaking his hand, although Cragen looked like he wanted to give the man a hug. The next hour crawled by agonizingly slowly, until finally a nurse arrived to take them up to the recovery room.

Gabriela lay on a plain white bed in the recovery room, her head swathed in white gauze, sleeping. They crowded around her, kissing her, whispering to her, soothing her.

"Sister has big band-aid." Grace observed.

"Ssssrrr!" Oliver put in.

"Yes, but her head's all better now, Gracie." Fin informed Grace. "Now she'll start acting like Gabbie again and she can come with you again when you go to other houses."

"She still my family?" Grace asked innocently, causing Fin's eyes to fill with tears. This whole ordeal had been a nightmare, but they had made it through. And they had made it through together.

"Yeah, Grace. She's still your family."

Cragen watched with tears in his eyes. This had scared him so much. What scared him still was that the urge to drink was not gone, and had come to him on several occasions during this nightmare. But Gabbie was just a little girl, and she needed him to be brave for her.

_When the lights go down  
He'll be fillin' a pan with a broom in his hand  
In some dive across town  
He'll be wipin' the bar, and moppin' the floor  
Countin' his tips and lockin' the doors  
Wrestlin' with the devil that tells him to pour another round_

_When the lights go down  
And there's nothing left to be  
When the lights go down  
And the truth is all you see_

_When you feel that hole  
Inside your soul  
Wonder what you're made of  
Well we all find out  
When the lights go down_

They stayed with Gabbie that night. She barely woke, but they had been told this was common, and her body needed time to recover. Each of them took turns holding her hand and stroking her face as she slept, but they made sure there were always at least 2 adults in the room to keep each other company. How much closer they had all become over the past 3 years surprised all of them, but they were grateful for it. Fin bowed his head and sent up a prayer quickly, telling El and Liv that their daughter was okay, no matter how silly he felt trying to talk to the dead.

This had been a terrible experience, but surely they had enough bad luck, Fin thought. Surely this would be the last large obstacle they would have to overcome. Yet somehow, no matter how much he tried to assure himself, Fin couldn't seem to believe it.

_When the lights go down  
At the end of the day  
With this game that I play  
It's gone another round  
As I lay there alone on this big empty bed  
Nothing but thoughts of you in my mind  
I think of the things I wish I'd said when you were still around_

When the lights go down  
And there's nothing left to be  
When the lights go down  
And the truth is all you see  
And I wonder if all my life's about  
The sum of all my fears and all my doubts  
Yeah, when the lights go down, oh


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Told you guys it'd be awhile! Sorry about the short chapter, next one will be longer. I'm actually not sure how long this story will be, but there are at least five chapters left, and I'm already working on the epilogue. **

**Who saw the new SVU on Tuesday? Wasn't it awesome? Poor Liv though.**

**Song of the Chapter: Godspeed (Sweet Dreams) – Dixie Chicks. God, I love this song. It's probably the prettiest lullaby I've ever heard, and even in my Dixie Chicks-hating mind, I have to admit they sound amazing here. It works well with this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I'm just borrowing some of them, but if Dick Wolf was feeling generous and wanted to give them to me, I wouldn't be rude and say no...**

Previously:

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The doctor came to sit beside them. "The surgery went very well. We got the entire tumor out, and she should be just fine. She's resting in recovery now, but you should be able to see her in about an hour" he reported rapidly.

This had been a terrible experience, but surely they had enough bad luck, Fin thought. Surely this would be the last large obstacle they would have to overcome. Yet somehow, no matter how much he tried to assure himself, Fin couldn't seem to believe it.

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FIVE WEEKS LATER:

Things were starting to get better, more normal. Gabbie had come home a month ago, but still went occasionally to the hospital for tests to make sure her tumour was truly gone. So far, they had found no traces of the tumor left. The children were currently staying with Fin, and Gabbie would go back to daycare in two weeks.

Everyone had to admit, things were getting back to normal. Grace and Oliver were thrilled to have their sister moving with them again, and even more thrilled that she was back to her normal self. She was acting like the outgoing, irrepressible child they all knew and loved. The group even had to remind her to slow down sometimes.

Of course, with her personality retuning, her stubbornness returned too. Gabriela had always been an insistent child, determined to get what she wants. Which is why, in the middle of a supermarket, in the middle of the, Fin found himself at his wit's end, dealing with one child on the floor, mid-tantrum, another chanting encouragement in the cart, and a wailing baby.

"NO! I DON'T WANT THE YUCKY FOOD!! WE GET THE CANDY CEREAL, UHFIN!!" Gabriela screamed, beating her fists and legs on the ground. Fin watched helplessly, hoping feverently this was not aggravating her head.

"YEAH! CANDY CEREAL!" Grace chanted from her place in the cart, while Oliver screamed in protest to the loud noise. A small crowd had gathered and was watching disapprovingly as Fin tried futilely to reason with his niece, seeing the blemishes her beating legs were causing. No matter what he said though, Gabriela screamed on. Finally, Fin snapped.

"GABRIELA JOY, STOP THAT RIGHT NOW AND PICK YOURSELF UP!" he roared. Gabriela looked up in shock, meekly lifting herself to sit on her knees, still weeping. Looking at Fin timidly, both Grace and Oliver fell silent.

"That's better. Now, here's what's going to happen. We are going to get the cereal that will make you grow up big and strong, because that's much better for you than the candy cereal. You and Gracie are going to start acting like big girls, that means no crying and screaming like Baby O does, because you're not a baby like he is. If you don't want to, you can go right into the timeout when we get home. OK?"

Gabriela nodded meekly.

Fin loaded her back into the cart, and finished up the shopping trip without further incident.

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Bedtime that night came slowly, but finally at 8 o'clock, Fin warmed Oliver's bottle, gave it to him, and watched as his big brown eyes slowly closed. Tucking the baby into his crib gently and turning on the baby monitor, he made his way to where the twins lay on the couch, already in their Pooh Bear pyjamas, watching a movie.

" OK guys, bedtime" he said. The children got sleepily up and followed him to the bedroom.

"Do special bedtime song, Uhfin?" they asked simultaneously.

Fin smiled. He had slowly developed a bedtime routine with the children over the last year. He would sit in the rocking chair, with the twins on his lap, and sing a song he had heard on the radio, that never failed to put them to sleep. He knew each squad member had their own special song that they sang to the children, and he was always relaxed by the peaceful bedtime routine.

Settling his beloved nieces on his lap, he rocked and began to sing softly:

_Dragon tales and the "water is wide"  
Pirate's sail and lost boys fly  
Fish bite moonbeams every night  
And I love you_

Godspeed, little girls  
Sweet dreams, little girls  
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings  
Godspeed  
Sweet dreams

The rocket racer's all tuckered out  
Superman's in pyjamas on the couch  
Goodnight moon, we'll find the mouse  
And I love you

Godspeed, little girls  
Sweet dreams, little girls  
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings  
Godspeed  
Sweet dreams

God bless mommy and match box cars  
God bless dad and thanks for the stars  
God hears "amen" wherever we are  
And I love you

Godspeed, little girls  
Sweet dreams, little girls  
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings  
Godspeed  
Godspeed  
Godspeed  
Sweet dreams

**A/N: As always, read and review! **


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Ok, I have an excuse this time! I banged my arm up, so despite what you may think, typing one handed takes a little bit longer than normal. So, feedback please! Any comments, constructive criticism, and suggestions for future plot are greatly welcomed. (Although if there's any for suggestions, please PM it to me.) This chapter is basically just fluff leading up to the drama again. R&R please! **

**Song of the Chapter: Cinderella – Steven Curtis Chapman. He wrote this for his 5-year-old adopted daughter, Maria, who was killed tragically in a car accident. It's not a sad song, but it's amazing, check it out. **

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Previously:

Gabbie had come home a month ago, but still went occasionally to the hospital for tests to make sure her tumour was truly gone. So far, they had found no traces of the tumor left.

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_Beep!Beep!_

The angry whine of the alarm woke John Munch from a fitful sleep. Groaning, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, silently thanking over thirty years of being a police officer for his ability to wake himself quickly. He dressed quickly and quietly and padded down the hall of his apartment to the twins room and walked quietly in. Even at 7:00 in the morning, the room was still shrouded in darkness, and the twins were still sleeping peacefully under their pink Sleeping Beauty comforters. Munch stopped for a minute, as usual, to take in the sight of little sleeping girls and the scent of blueberry shampoo, knowing before he knew it, this room would be a mess, covered in posters and makeup and lived by two girls who weren't so little anymore.

He crept over to the twins, gently rubbing their backs and whispering:

"Time to get up, Gracie and Gabbie. It's Gabbie's first day back at daycare, and Aunt Casey is going to meet us at the daycare to see Gabbie go back to daycare."

The twins woke up with a speed that only children can. They started to get out of bed, when Munch protested:

"Hey,hey,hey! What are you forgetting?"

Thinking for a minute, both girls smiled and simultaneously threw their arms around Munch.

"Love you, Uncle Munchie!" they chorused.

Munch laughed. "Love you too, munchkins. Now, let's get you dressed."

Munch was almost finished dressing both girls when he heard the now-familiar sound of Oliver stirring.

"OK girls, Uncle Munchie's going to go get Baby O up" he said, using the nickname they had all started calling Oliver, because everyone mutually hated the name Ollie.

"Go downstairs and put your cereal into your bowls, then I'll come pour your milk."

The girls left eagerly, happy with the responsibility. Munch headed into Oliver's room, the room that smelt of baby powder and something else – that special scent that babies have that nobody could quite define. He lifted Oliver out of his crib and brought him to the changing table. Oliver was now nine months old, and had just begun to get into that strange phase babies go through – crying for no reason, fussing with people he knew well as if they were strangers, yet not letting himself be left with someone he didn't know, and casting off his favourite toys, among other things. It was certainly more challenging for the group, but they knew he would grow out of it eventually.

As Munch tried to change his diaper, Oliver kicked his legs angrily, twisting and turning this way and that.

"Oliver Elliot Benson-Stabler. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were purposely trying to make this difficult for Uncle Munch." Munch laughed, managing to get the diaper on despite Oliver's efforts. He pulled a white shirt and black overalls out of the drawer and dressed the baby quickly before he could object further. Holding the baby up, he marvelled at how much he had grown. The baby who had been born five weeks premature, had grown remarkably fast. Although he didn't have as much fat on him as other babies his age, length-wise he had grown astonishingly; he was "taller" than most babies his age. He had a head full of wild brown curls, and brown eyes that had not changed since his birth, eyes that were so like his mother's eyes that it was frightening. His sisters looked very much like him too, with the same chestnut hair that still sported baby curls, because the group couldn't bear to get rid of them, and wide, thoughtful brown eyes.

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An hour later, Munch pulled his car into the parking lot of the daycare. He spotted Casey already waiting for them. She walked over quickly and helped him unload the children, taking the twins by the hand and walking them into the daycare, Munch carrying Oliver and his diaper bag behind.

As they entered the daycare, Casey suddenly froze, nearly jerking the twins off their feet.

"Casey?" Munch inquired.

He looked ahead of Casey and saw a woman staring back at her. The woman was tall and thin, with severe features, and she harshly clasped the hand of a little boy who was straining to get away. Clearing her throat, the woman spoke in a loud, condescending voice.

"I see you haven't been able to control those children any better since we last met" she said, indicating the twins, who were now trying to pull Casey toward the toddler door. Casey seemed to snap out of her daze as she saw the woman look down at the bruises on Gabbie's legs from her tantrum two days earlier.

Casey snorted disbelievingly, but she didn't want to make a scene in front of the kids, so she simply turned and entered the baby and toddler room.

Grace spotted some of her friends immediately, and ran to play with them. Munch handed Oliver to the teacher, Miss Jeannine, who took one look at him and began to wail loudly.

"OK Gabbie, Aunt Casey's got to go to work now" she told the child, who was still clinging to her hand.

"No!" Gabbie cried, beginning to weep.

"Yes, honey. Hey, what's with the tears, you love daycare! Look how happy everybody is to see you back" she said, pointing at the children who had clustered around Gabriela.

It took nearly 10 minutes more and many more tears, but finally Munch and Casey snuck out of the room, running straight into the woman from earlier.

"Ms. Hartly" Casey said tightly, trying to edge past her.

The woman sniffed and walked out, but not before Casey and Munch heard her mutter under her breath "...how can they honestly think it's proper to have four different homes for the three children. Why, the poor dears must be starved for love and attention. Somebody really must do something, even if drastic measures must be taken"

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It was later that night, right after dinner, when one of Munch's favourite times with the children came.

"Dance time, Uncle Munchie! Dance!" Munch grinned. He wasn't really sure how this tradition came to be, but the children loved it, and he loved doing it with them. He put Oliver in his playpen, and for once the baby lay content. He switched on the radio, and after dancing to several upbeat rock songs, soft notes began to play through the radio.

_She spins and she sways  
To whatever song plays  
Without a care in the world  
And I'm sitting here wearing  
The weight of the world on my shoulders_

Munch swept his nieces up into his arms, and they rested their heads on his shoulders. The three of them began to sway gently in time to the music. Munch closed his eyes and blocked out everything else: rapists, murderers, victims, perps, even that horrible woman from earlier.

_It's been a long day  
And there's still work to do  
She's pulling at me  
Saying "Dad, I need you_

There's a ball at the castle  
And I've been invited  
And I need to practice my dancing  
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella  
While she is here in my arms  
'Cause I know something the prince never knew  
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella  
I don't want to miss even one song  
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight  
And she'll be gone...

Managing to find some way to shift both girls to one arm, Munch knelt down and picked Baby O up also. The infant sighed contentedly, seeming happy to be a part of the dance.

_She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed  
She wants to know if I approve of the dress  
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away  
And I need to practice my dancing  
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"_

So I will dance with Cinderella  
While she is here in my arms  
'Cause I know something the prince never knew  
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella  
I don't want to miss even one song  
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight  
And she'll be gone

She will be gone

Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand  
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned  
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away  
But I need to practice my dancing  
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella  
While she is here in my arms  
'Cause I know something the prince never knew  
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella  
I don't want to miss even one song  
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight  
And she'll be gone

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**A/N #2: Who else wanted to kill the new ADA when she insulted Casey this past ep? I was starting to like her until she said that!**

**I'm also thinking of making a YT video to accompany this story. I'm thinking I'll try to recap the whole story, so it won't happen until I finish this story, and using all the songs on the playlist for this story. Yes? No? Let me know!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Long wait, apologies! This chapter is in honor of the new episode, Swing, coming out. Stabler's only mentioned his mom once in passing, and until Tuesday, that gives me room to finagle with her as much as I want! I managed to squeeze one chapter out of the muse because I knew I wouldn't have time over the Thanksgiving weekend. You guys know the drill by now, review, review, review! **

**Also, for the purposes of this story, Joe Hollister is dead but Serena Benson is alive. **

**Song Of The Chapter – My Weakness – Moby. Those of you who watch the X-Files might recognize it as the song that was playing in Closure when Mulder found Samantha. Those of you who don't, it's just an amazing, beautiful theme.**

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Previously:

"I see you haven't been able to control those children any better since we last met" Mariette Hartly said, indicating the twins, who were now trying to pull Casey toward the toddler door. Casey seemed to snap out of her daze as she saw the woman look down at the bruises on Gabbie's legs from her tantrum two days earlier.

The woman sniffed and walked out, but not before Casey and Munch heard her mutter under her breath "...how can they honestly think it's proper to have four different homes for the three children. Why, the poor dears must be starved for love and attention. Somebody really must do something, even if drastic measures must be taken"

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"I think it's time." Casey announced.

Fin and Munch looked up from the paperwork they were painstakingly completing.

"What?"

"Yes" said Casey. "It's been long enough. We have to be the ones to bridge the gap."

There was a long pause.

"OK, walk us through it, Case." Munch finally responded. "First off, who the hell are you talking about?"

Casey rolled her eyes. "Elliot's parents, of course! I think it's time we took the twins and Baby O to meet them. I mean, the twins have been alive two years, and they've never met them."

"There's a reason for that, Case." Fin pointed out. "They've never made much of an effort to be good grandparents to them. I've never heard Elliot mention them, and they didn't even look at the twins at the funeral."

"They had just lost their son and daughter-in-law. Maybe it was too painful to look at them. And even if they meant to ignore them, they're the kids' grandparents, and they have a right to see them."

"That's what you said about Serena." Cragen stated, coming out of his office. "And look how well that went over."

Casey shuddered at the memory that brought back. Serena Benson had never changed her ways from Olivia's childhood. The one time they had taken the kids to see her, Oliver was seven months old and the twins had just turned two. Serena had known they were coming, but she had been drinking when she opened the door, drinking during their visit, and drinking when they left. She pushed and yelled at the twins, scaring them and making them retreat to safety on Cragen's lap, burying their faces in his shirt and crying. She had also thrown a bottle violently against the wall, scaring Oliver and making him burst into tears. Serena had reacted badly to the shrill noise, leaning right down into Oliver's face and shouting "shut up, you little twerp!"

They had never brought the kids back after that visit.

"This'll be different." Casey said with conviction. "Elliot had a more stable childhood than Olivia, that has to mean his parents are better."

Cragen shook his head, unconvinced. But Casey stood resolute, and they knew that she would win this fight.

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Two days later, the gang walked up the driveway of a nice house in a Brooklyn suburb. The twins were excited about getting to meet "Daddy's mommy and daddy" and had insisted on wearing their "princess dresses" that Munch had bought for them (a purchase that brought much teasing on him, but the twins loved them) and they had dressed Oliver in jeans and a baseball shirt.

Casey took a deep breath and rang the bell. The door opened almost immediately, and there stood Elliot's mother.

Bernadette Stabler was not a tall woman. Casey would have guessed she stood maybe 5 feet, 6 inches. But she had a bearing about her, a certain dignity that was almost intimidating, as if just by looking at a person, she was daring them to contradict her. They stood in a face-off of sorts, until someone behind Casey cleared their throat, and the awkwardness was broken somewhat.

"Mrs. Stabler?" Casey tentatively ventured.

Mrs. Stabler's face broke out into a tight smile.

"You must be Casey Novak." At Casey's nod, she continued. "Yes, we spoke on the phone. Well come in, come in, we've been waiting."

Casey took a steadying breath, grabbed Grace and Gabriela's hands again, and walked into the house. They were shown to the living room, where there was a box of toys for the twins, and larger, softer ones for Oliver. The twins squealed eagerly at the prospect of new toys and rushed to play. Cragen got Oliver a stuffed animal, and Oliver eagerly stuck it in his mouth and gummed on it. He was just beginning to teethe, so he was showing a newfound interest in whatever he could stick in his mouth.

The gang sat uneasily on the elegant upholstered couch, silent, wondering who would be the first to break the silence.

Finally, Bernadette spoke.

"I'm glad we could get this chance. I've been wondering what my grandchildren look like. Elliot never took them to see me...I suppose because of what happened when he told me _that woman_ was pregnant again."

They flinched at the woman's harsh reference to Olivia, but must have also had blank looks on their faces, because the woman launched hurriedly into an explanation.

"I had suspected my son of being with her long before he had gotten divorced. A mother knows her son, regardless of how much he tried to cut off contact with me. He divorced Kathy in a heartbeat once she got pregnant, those children were conceived the product of an extramarital affair, the poor dears. Well, needless to say, I never expected that to work out. So when he came to tell me that they had gotten married, and that she was pregnant with little Oliver, I was understandably a bit shocked and angry. I may have said things that could be perceived as negative about his children and his _wife-"_ she spat out this word angrily – "but I always expected him to realize those things were said in the heat of the moment. Then it was too late..."

By the time Bernadette sat back in her chair, the group were itching to come to Olivia's defence, to point out the nearly four month gap between Elliot's divorce and the start of his and Olivia's relationship, to call her out for condemning their children as anything less than the blessings they were. But just as Cragen opened his mouth, Bernadette spoke again.

"That said, I do think this is a good idea. I'm sure my son had the best of intentions, but I've learned how these children live, what their accommodations are, and I'm sure you'll forgive me in finding them a little absurd. I mean, they tell me that they switch houses every _three weeks?_"

"Yes, ma'am." Fin put in. "Elliot and _Olivia_ left the children to all of us, and we find they adjust very well to living with all of us. They're very excited when we tell them that they're staying at another aunt or uncle's house. If they didn't adjust well, we would come up with some other arrangement, but even Oliver is used to it by now."

" Yes, and I understand, Mr. Tutuola, that when my grandchildren are staying with you, you have a girlfriend that pops errantly in and out of your house, and a homosexual son that lives with you only some of the time? I'm _very _uncomfortable with these arrangements. I really think it best for the children that they are raised in a stable home environment. As you can see, my home may be a smidge more suitable for such young children, not to mention I've been in a stable relationship for many years."

Unable to contain herself for much longer, Casey stood.

"Mrs. Stabler, I say on behalf of all us that we are genuinely sorry that you lost your son and have never met your grandchildren, but it sounds to me that you never knowing your grandkids was your own doing. Elliot and _Olivia_- 'that woman' you mention happened to be an amazing, loving, kind person that you will never have the pleasure of knowing – never had an 'extramarital affair', in fact in wasn't until six months after Elliot's divorce that Olivia got pregnant with the twins, and Elliot happened to love Olivia like nothing I've ever seen before. In regards to the kids living with you, El and Liv left them to us for a reason. You may have a more stable life, but they know us. We've been there their entire life. We love them, they are the most important things in our life, and I'm frankly getting sick of having to justify that we are good guardians. If you want to see them more, we can work that out amongst ourselves. Until then, we're leaving."

With that, Casey grabbed the twins by the hand and marched them out.

When they had gotten all the kids safely in the car, amongst complaints that they had not gotten to "show princess dress", Fin turned laughingly to Casey.

"God, Case, nobody would be able to guess that you're a lawyer."

Casey laughed. "God, she was arrogant, wasn't she? We've got enough naysayers in our lives, let's hope we never hear from her again."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Well, in my defence, I have been writing stories, just not this one lol. I'm thinking that there will be probably 5 or 6 chapters of this story left, give or take, and then I don't know whether I want to write a sequel, epilogue, or any such thing. I'll just see where this goes first. Note about last chapter: I wrote it before Swing aired, and now I feel so bad about making Bernadette Stabler this cold, cruel character. Wasn't Ellen Burstyn amazing in that role? **

**Please try to bear with me on this story, I've been trained on procedures regarding some things in this chapter, but thanks to my crappy short term memory, I've long since forgotten lol. I'm sort of combining two chapters in one, so this will be a long chapter that spans lots of time. **

**Song Of The Chapter: Hallelujah. There are **_**many **_**artists that have covered this song, my source (that would be my all-knowing-in-the-music-department dad lol) says Leonard Cohen wrote it and was the first to perform it, but I much prefer Rufus Wainwright's version, though I am using Leonard Cohen's version of the lyrics. So the Song of the Chapter is: Hallelujah – Rufus Wainwright.**

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Previously:

Casey laughed. "God, she was arrogant, wasn't she? We've got enough naysayers in our lives, let's hope we never hear from her again."

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The first indication that something was off came right off the bat, when Cragen walked the twins and the baby into daycare on a Monday morning. He had dropped them off many times before, he knew the teachers well, and they knew him, but for some reason, on this particular morning, they were looking at him strangely. Almost suspiciously, it seemed.

He had no sooner gotten the children's coats off then Ms. Jeannine came rushing towards them, collecting a happy Oliver from Cragen's arms, and patting him on the back soothingly, as if he was scared or upset. Ms. Gracie, her assistant, followed her immediately, grabbing the twin's hands and walked them off to the dramatic play area. Cragen stood, confused and without children in a matter of seconds. Ms. Gracie knelt down to the twins' height, and although Cragen could just barely hear what she was saying, she seemed to be asking the 2 ½ year olds if they were alright, if they were feeling okay.

Cragen was even more confused as he stood in the hat and coat area, when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. Whirling around, he found himself facing the centre director, Brenda Gualiano, a short, chubby woman, yet a woman who carried a strict essence about her.

"Mr. Cragen," she said, the greeting stiff and formal.

"Would you mind stepping into my office? We need to talk."

Cragen had to be at work, he was already late, but something about the woman's tone told him he had best do this. He followed Brenda to her office, a small space near the front door, crammed with papers and file folders. Brenda indicated the chair beside her desk for Cragen to sit in, which he did. She plopped into her chair, all business.

"Now, Mr. Cragen. I'm sure you're wondering why we called you in here today, though I'm sure some part of you already knows. I just wanted to be the first to tell you it will probably be easier on everyone if you just tell me. There are no secrets here, and something like this should definitely not be kept a secret, don't you agree?"

Cragen was mentally torn...on the one hand, he had absolutely no inkling what this woman could be talking about. But on the other hand, her knowing tone reminded him strongly of himself and his detectives, on countless interrogations.

"Ms. Gualiano, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I honestly don't know what in the hell you're talking about."

"I've been getting reports." Brenda replied, by way of explanation.

At Cragen's blank look, she sighed heavily and switched her tone from sympathetic to patronizing.

"Look, Mr. Cragen, I've been working in this business for thirty years, and I'd like to think I've pretty much seen it all. From the moment any of those children walk through those doors, they are my responsibility. It's my responsibility to make sure they're accepted into peer groups, to make sure they're taught right, and most of all, it's my responsibility to protect them. Despite what you might think, I know all the excuses, Mr. Cragen. So I'm going to ask you one more time to please come clean about what's going on at home, with these children."

The pieces began to work their way together in Cragen's head, but he couldn't quite bring himself to say what he through Brenda meant out loud. After straining for several minutes, all he managed to force out was a strangled

"What?"

Brenda sighed, speaking very slowly and directly.

"Have you, or any the children's other guardians, been hurting Grace, Gabriela or Oliver at home?"

Suddenly, it all clicked in Cragen's mind. He jumped out of the chair, furious.

"You are asking if we have been _abusing_ these children?!" he roared.

Brenda flinched almost imperceptively.

"Mr. Cragen, we have seen too many signs and gotten to many reports not to investigate it. Your...outburst...tells me that you are clearly defensive, which makes me suspect that you may have something to hide. I've summoned a social worker to inspect the children's living spaces."

Cragen saw red. Before he could do something he knew he'd regret, he stormed out of the office.

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TWO DAYS LATER:

It had been two days since the daycare had accused the group of abusing the children. Cragen could still vividly remember coming back to the bullpen, three confused children in his arms, raging on the inside, but trying to appear calm on the outside, for the children's sakes.

He had called a member of the 16th precinct who worked under him, and asked her to please take the children into the children's interview room to play with the toys and to not take it personally if Oliver screamed – it was a phase and if you let him see his sisters, then let him cry it out, eventually he would stop and play nicely.

The rest of the squad had immediately noticed how tense he was, and the second the children were gone, questions abounded as to what had happened, why weren't the children in daycare, was Gabbie all right, and such.

Cragen had silenced them all with a wave of his hand, and angrily recounted how the conversation had gone. They had all been as angry as he was, but agreed that they were not in a position to do much about it except wait it out and hope for the best.

The next day, a social worker had shown up at Cragen's apartment and made her way around to Casey's, Munch's, and Fin's apartments as well. She had also interviewed all of them, and insisted on interviewing the children in private, over the squad's objections. Her expression had been unreadable when she declared that she was finished with them for now.

" So...what happens now?" Fin asked tentatively.

The social worker gave them a sour smile.

"Now I review my findings, talk to the daycare and the people that have lodged complaints, and me and my supervisors will make a decision. Have a good day." And with that, she strode to her car and was gone.

The group, which had gathered in the bullpen, turned right to Casey.

"Case...if she finds us unfit – what happens?" Munch asked softly.

Casey swallowed hard. "If she finds us unfit with justifiable reasons, then legally she can...she can..." Casey broke off, unable to finish.

"They can take them away from us." Munch finished, a devastated look on his face.

_I've heard there was a secret chord  
That David played, and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?  
It goes like this  
The fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall, the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah_

Casey sank into a chair, and buried her head in her hands. The gang could see her shoulders shake with sobs that she futilely tried to hide, but nobody knew what to say to comfort her.

Grace and Gabriella had been sitting on the floor, playing with the dolls they kept in stock in Cragen's office. But the sound of Casey's sobs, they looked up simultaneously. Dropping their dolls, they climbed carefully onto Casey's lap. Each took one of Casey's hands and brought it down to her lap. The twins threw themselves on Casey, covering her face with kisses, as if trying to kiss away her tears.

"Don't cry, Auntie Casey." Grace said. "We love you." Casey burst into a fresh wave of tears at those words, and clutched the twins tightly to her.

_Baby I have been here before  
I know this room, I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before I knew you.  
I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
Love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Their answer came four days later. The children were at Fin's apartment, watching the Backyardigans. There was a loud rap on the door. Immediately, the usual pleas started from the twins, who were in a phase of thinking being allowed the privilege of opening the door was something very special indeed. Fin didn't like it though, especially in New York City, so they had settled on the compromise of the twins opening the door, but Fin had to be with them.

The twins through open the door with an eager "Hihi!"

At the door stood the social worker, with two other women in severely tailored suits. Fin felt his heart rise into his throat.

"Yes?" he managed, hoping his voice came out strong.

"Mr. Odafin Tutuola?" one of the women inquired.

"That's me." Fin stated.

"I'm Jody Stringel from Manhattan Children's services, and I'm sure you recognize Amanda Marley," the taller one said, indicating the social worker with a jerk of her head.

"Grace, Gabbie, go back and watch your show." Fin said at once.

What is it you want?" he snapped at the women.

"Mr. Tutuola, we are sorry to inform you that we are here because we have reason to believe that the situation with you and your colleagues, such as it is, is not in the best interest of the children. We are here to remove them from your care, until the hearing that we have set up to determine if you are indeed the best people to be raising these children."

_There was a time you let me know  
What's really going on below  
But now you never show it to me, do you?  
And remember when I moved in you  
The holy dark was moving too  
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah_

Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Fin felt a dim fog envelop his consciousness at these words. This couldn't really be happening right? This had to be a nightmare. Surely he would wake up, and this would all just be a bad dream.

"Mr. Tutuola!" he heard the dim voice pull him out of his reverie, as he was jolted harshly back to the present, back to the time when these horrible women were coming to take the best things in his life from him.

"No!" he heard himself say. "No, you can take them! They need us! We need them!"

"Sir, we have a court order, and it will go much easier on all of us if you – "Jody Stringel was cut off abruptly, as the rest of the gang entered for the dinner that Fin had invited them to earlier. Casey recognized the social workers immediately and a look of denial and disbelief came over her face.

"Fin, what are they doing?" she asked, her voice wobbling.

"They want to take our kids away! They think we're mistreating them!"

Bedlam ensued, as everyone spoke at once with vehement protests, until Amanda Marley shouted over the chaos.

"QUIET!"

Everyone fell silent instantly, the group forming a barricade of bodies against the door, as if that would keep them out.

"Look, we want to make this as painless as possible. I understand you're a lawyer, Ms. Novak, so you know that if you do not comply with the order from the judge, we can arrest you. There is a hearing in nine weeks, to determine if you are fit to care for these children. If you are found capable, the chances are good of the children being returned to you. Now, we'll give you half an hour, while we wait out here, to get the children ready and say goodbye."

The group looked pleadingly at Casey.

"Casey..." Munch stated. "Please tell me there's some way we can avoid this."

Casey shook her head tearfully. "If we don't comply, they will arrest us and the children will be taken anyway. We have no choice..."

_You say I took the name in vain  
I don't even know the name  
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?  
There's a blaze of light  
In every word  
It doesn't matter which you heard  
The holy or the broken Hallelujah_

Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Looking back on the next half hour, the group would honestly recount it as feeling like someone had literally ripped out their hearts and stomped on them. Barely holding it together, they gathered the children's things, then meekly gathered with the children in the living room. Casey grabbed Grace and held her tightly, sobbing into her soft hair, while Munch clutched Gabbie with a look in his eyes that the rest of them had only seen once on him before – the day of Oliver's birth, and his parents' deaths.

Cragen heard cooing from the floor and picked Oliver up. He held the baby to his chest and rocked him like he was still a newborn, crying, but silently so. The children were instantly alert. They had picked up on the tension in their guardians for the past week, and this was scaring them. Grace, always the more sensitive of the twins, began to cry softly as well, wrapping her arms around Casey and burying her face in her aunt's neck.

Finally, after long minutes of silence, Cragen finally found the courage to speak.

"Gabbie, Grace, do you see those women in the door? They're going to take you on a trip for a little bit. You're going to go stay with someone else, at a house where there's a mommy and a daddy and..." Cragen broke off, unable to speak around the lump that was forming in his throat.

The children's looks registered confusion, then fear as they took in their guardian's faces. Why were they acting sad? They went to different houses all the time, why was this different?

Casey lifted her head from Grace's hair and tearfully whispered "We're gonna make sure you come back, okay? Don't worry. We love you all so much..." Casey broke into new sobs and shifted her face back into Grace's hair.

The social workers strode into the room. One picked up Oliver, who immediately began to wail in protest at being taken from the safety and familiarity of his grandfather's arms. The other took the twins' hands and began to lead them out. Terrified now, they began to struggle.

"No! Want stay with Uhfin! No! Help, Uhfin!"

The woman ignored the toddler's protests and dragged them out of the room, closing the door firmly behind her. Casey turned and buried her face in Munch's shirt, inconsolable. Fin and Cragen closed in on them, wrapping their arms around Casey and crying with her.

"Goodbye. We love you so much. We'll see you again, I promise." the tear-soaked whisper was out of Cragen's mouth before he realized it, but the door was already closed. They were already gone.

_**I did my best, it wasn't much  
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch  
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you  
And even though  
It all went wrong  
I'll stand before the Lord of Song  
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah**_

Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

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**A/N #2: Dear God, I thought I'd written angsty before, but that was a whole new level lol. I really would like reviews especially on this chapter, because honestly I'm not sure about it. **


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Muse ran away for a long time on this, till I finally offered it some Halloween candy and I was allowed to squeeze one small chapter out. I've also been writing a lot of stories for school (angsty ones, of course), plus my new story Something New (it's an X-Files/SVU crossover, check it out please!), so I haven't really had the time or the energy to devote to this story. This is kind of a filler chapter, the big stuff is coming up.**

**Song of the Chapter: Angel – Sarah McLaughlin. I'll be the first to admit I don't like much music that Sarah McLaughlin and artists like her put out, but this song is gorgeous. I think it fits well with the mood of this chapter. **

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Previously:

"Mr. Tutuola, we are sorry to inform you that we are here because we have reason to believe that the situation with you and your colleagues, such as it is, is not in the best interest of the children. We are here to remove them from your care, until the hearing that we have set up to determine if you are indeed the best people to be raising these children."

"Goodbye. We love you so much. We'll see you again, I promise." the tear-soaked whisper was out of Cragen's mouth before he realized it, but the door was already closed. They were already gone.

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Numb. That was all. Ever since the children had been taken away, all they felt was numb. They got up instinctively at 6:30 in the morning and started walking down the hall to the little girls' room to get them up for school, and it would hit them sometime just before they pushed open the door that they were not there. They were not there and they might not ever be there again.

And that took them right back to day one. Right to the night where each of them had gone home and lay in their beds, staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours, bone tired but unable to sleep. Back to the morning where they had all gotten up, dressed and shot out the door to the squad room as fast as possible and buried themselves in their work, wanting, _needing_ to feel something else. And even more vividly, they remembered sitting at each of their desks, staring vacantly at the pictures on their desks.

_Spend all your time waiting for that second chance  
For the break that will make it okay_

_There's always some reason to feel not good enough  
And it's hard at the end of the day  
I need some distraction or a beautiful release  
Memories seep from my veins  
Let me be empty and weightless and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight_

They had eventually given up on work that day, there were no new cases and even if there were, they weren't sure they would be able to deal with them. Each had wandered off in their own direction at first.

Casey walked aimlessly around New York City, for how long, she was honestly not sure. Eventually, though, she registered her stomach growling and wandered into a little café, packed with people. The burger she ordered wasn't filling enough, and she was just about to order something else when a sound caught her attention. Voices. Children's voices. Though her conscious mind told her not to, she turned her head toward the sound. It was a young mother with two small children, a toddler and a baby. Casey sat watching them, unable to tear her eyes away, as the woman guided the children up to the counter to order their food. She set the baby down on the counter, and the child immediately began to squirm.

Not even thinking about it, Casey began to hum under her breath. For a moment, she could barely even identify the song coming out of her mouth, until the baby slowly quieted and turned his face to look at her. His eyes locked with hers and Casey's breath caught in her throat. _ Joy To The World_, she realized. The same song she had sung to....

_No!_ Casey stopped herself in her tracks. For long minutes, she and the baby simply stared into each other's eyes, until she couldn't take it any longer. Casey threw down some money and bolted from the restaurant, running as fast as she could. Her mind registered where she was going, apparently, because her legs moved in the direction of her destination. Reaching it finally, she threw herself down on the hard ground, sobbing.

_In the arms of the angel_

_Far away from here  
From this dark, cold hotel room,_

_And the endlessness that you fear  
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie  
You're in the arms of the angel;_

_May you find some comfort here_

Her hand reached out and touched the hard stone, tracing the letters gently. E-L-L-I-O-T A-N-D O-L-I-V-I-A S-T-A –B-L-E-R. Casey ran her hand over the smooth rock, caressing it, as if she was actually touching her dead friends.

"They...they...they took them! They're gone!" Casey cried, barely able to get the words out. There was a long pause, as she tried to collect herself somewhat.

Her sobs had finally subsided some minutes later, and her next words came out in a whisper.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. You trusted us. We let you down. I'm....I just wish..." Casey trailed off in the midst of another sob.

She was still crying silently when she suddenly felt a warm breeze caress her face. Her mind registered this as odd, it was cold weather. But suddenly it clicked in her mind, and she managed a watery smile.

"Thank you."

_So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn  
There's vultures and thieves at your back  
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies  
That you make up for all that you lack  
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time  
It's easier to believe  
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness  
That brings me to my knees_

_In the arms of the angel, far away from here  
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear  
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie  
In the arms of the angel; may you find some comfort here_

You're in the arms of the angel; may you find some comfort here

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**And that's it for now. The next chapter will deal with how the kids are in their new home, but it'll probably be a few days before it's up, as I have to catch up on some assignments. **

**REVIEW, please. Remember, many reviews make happy author. Happy author make many longer updates.**


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